Hi I am a 36 year old pre op transexual and live on my own and am very lonely I moved from stockton on tees and now live in newcastle I was married for many years until 6 months ago although we where little more than friends she was my best friend, but I was unable/unwilling to remain in my birth gender any longer and while I need to go through this transition I am finding it very hard and often long for elements of my old life. I have thoughts about killing myself but would never go through with it as that would be giving in but the thoughts persist. I often go days without talking to anyone and have started talking to myself at times which is not a good thing, while I kind of know that its up to me to pull myself out of this, I just feel that I have to say how I feel to someone even if it's a complete stranger. Sorry if none of this makes sense.