My guy and I have been together for about 4 years. Throughout the relationship he has struggled with depression, anxiety, and anger issues. I've tried my best to be there and help him through it. We've broken up for short periods within the 4 years and we've both done things we're not proud of - but we've always ended up back together. Recently, his mental and emotional issues have become the biggest focus in the relationship. He said he wanted to take a break so that he could focus on himself and what makes him happy and that he wanted me to do the same and that after we worked on ourselves that our relationship might be better. I'm afraid that, because I was so upset, I didn't ask enough questions. I don't want to be with anyone else, but I also don't want to cling on to some sort of false hope. So does anyone think a break is similar/different to a breakup?

Your relationship is not based on you and him your relationship is all about you bending over backwards to make it all about him. Do yourself a favor and you make the next move by telling him you still need a break when he calls to say he is done with the break. You start calling the shots and see how long he will put up with you. Walking on egg shells and bending over backwards is far from a healthy relationship. Why should you suffer because he feels his need to take a break over rides any of your feelings. Couples work through things together. If you married and had kids would he be bailing out every time things got a little tough? I think so.

For your own protection see this as break up, so you can put your life in order, and he can too, and end this on/off never seeming to end confusion, because it may take years for him to solve his issues, and why be in limbo waiting?

Find your own happiness, it's out there.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Your relationship is not based on you and him your relationship is all about you bending over backwards to make it all about him. Do yourself a favor and you make the next move by telling him you still need a break when he calls to say he is done with the break. You start calling the shots and see how long he will put up with you. Walking on egg shells and bending over backwards is far from a healthy relationship. Why should you suffer because he feels his need to take a break over rides any of your feelings. Couples work through things together. If you married and had kids would he be bailing out everytime things got a little tough? I think so.

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Wow. I re-read what I wrote to see if I had included more information than I thought I did. You're so right. Everything you said was absolutely fitting. Thanks for responding. I guess I've just gotten really wrapped up in this and I haven't been very objective.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

For your own protection see this as break up, so you can put your life in order, and he can too, and end this on/off never seeming to end confusion, because it may take years for him to solve his issues, and why be in limbo waiting?

Find your own happiness, it's out there.

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I was looking at this as temporary because it made me feel better. But it's anything but temporary. Thanks for the perspective.