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-   -   Confused... What shall I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=762921)

  • Aug 16, 2013, 02:20 PM
    Candyy_Flosss
    Confused... What shall I do?
    So, there's a boy and I'm really into him, and him being a year older than me I feel he's lost interest a bit. First couple of weeks spending together he was real touchy and attentive and always saying the right things if that makes sense, and now he doesn't seem as if he wants to even talk to me. I've asked if we are OK, and he said we are fine but I'm not to sure! What shall I do? Im confused but have too strong feelings to give up/: help.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 02:55 PM
    joypulv
    How old is each of you?
  • Aug 16, 2013, 03:30 PM
    Candyy_Flosss
    Im 16 he's 17
  • Aug 16, 2013, 03:35 PM
    Alty
    Sounds like the excitement of first crush has worn off a bit. That doesn't mean that he isn't into you. It means that you seem to feel that every day should be fireworks, bells, whistles, and that's not reality. When a couple gets to know each other, they grow comfortable with each other, they don't constantly have to prove their feelings. If that's what you expect, you will be disappointed.

    Stop pushing. He says everything is fine, so accept that.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 04:03 PM
    N0help4u
    At your young age a lot of guys like the chase but then get bored once they get there they change their mind or like Alty says real relationships are about commitment. You will just have to take your time and develop a friendship and see where it goes. Whatever you do don't come off as needy and chasing.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 04:26 PM
    Candyy_Flosss
    [We aren't in a relationship, but when we meet I feel so comfortable around him like although we should be but we arent/: we haven't met in a couple days and it sounds stupid but I miss him
  • Aug 16, 2013, 04:26 PM
    joypulv
    Are you in the same grade? Are you seeing each other over the summer?
    (I like to ask practical questions.)
    There's no way to know if he means everything's fine, if you worry too much as the relationship evolves, if he is maybe drifting away --- he's not here to say. So when someone tells you something, you really should take it for what it is until proven otherwise. That's true of everybody you will know in life.

    OOPS we both wrote at the same moment. Now I see that you aren't in a relationship? Then all bets are off - there is nothing you can do or should do. You shouldn't have even asked him if everything was OK. You have to put a lid on your feelings, much as it will hurt for a bit.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 04:35 PM
    Candyy_Flosss
    No we aren't in same grade. It's the summer holidays now and 2weeks left out of 6 and we have met uo nearly everyday until this week really/: when we were talking the other week he was giving me the impression by what he was saying that he did have feelings towards me and I showed my closest friend our conversation and she said that he likes you. But also his best friend asked me out like a month ago and now his group of friends hate us hanging out together because they think its disrespectful towards his friend and now gets loads of hate and he's fed up of it so/:
  • Aug 16, 2013, 04:44 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Candyy_Flosss View Post
    No we arent in same grade. Its the summer holidays now and 2weeks left out of 6 and we have met uo nearly everyday until this week really/: when we was talking the other week he was giving me the impression by what he was saying that he did have feelings towards me and i showed my closest friend our conversation and she said that he likes you. But also his bestfriend asked me out like a month ago and now his group of friends hate us hanging out together because they think its disrespectful towards his friend and now gets loads of hate and he's fed up of it so/:

    Sounds like a lot of drama. You're 16, he's 17, maybe he realizes that losing his friends over a girl that he likely will only date for a few months, and then move on, isn't worth it.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 05:11 PM
    joypulv
    You forgot to mention that you went on a date with his BEST FRIEND. I can't begin to guess what's going on with the vast intricacies of all these teens and their groups, but something is for sure. I think you might have ruined whatever small chance you had.
  • Aug 16, 2013, 05:30 PM
    Candyy_Flosss
    No I never went on a date with his friend, one of his friends was meeting my best friend so I tagged along then next thing he tells me he has feeligs for me then asked me out. I never had any feeling towards him like that and never did I lead him on
  • Aug 16, 2013, 05:45 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Candyy_Flosss View Post
    No i never went on a date with his friend, one of his friends was meeting my bestfriend so i tagged along then next thing he tells me he has feeligs for me then asked me out. I never had any feeling towards him like that and never did i lead him on

    And yet that person is your crushes friend, and he's suffering for hanging out with you, because his friends don't like it.

    At your age, you'll date lots of guys. This likely won't be the guy you end up marrying. He probably knows that too. So why would he give up his friends for a girl that he'll likely only date for a few months? It's not worth it.

    He chose his friends, not you. It may hurt, but really, that's a good move on his part. His friends will likely be there for many years, maybe even his whole life. Girlfriends, they'll come and go for many years before you find Miss Right.

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