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We just completed our court order marriage counseling & my husband admitted to having an affair and states that he still has feelings for the woman, is my marriage over?
What are the next steps? I don't want a divorce so I'm trying to stall it as long as I can. Is this the last step? My husband still wants a divorce what can I do?
"what can I do?"
Probably nothing. If he is not willing to commit to you 100% then you have no marriage.
But why hold on to that? He's cheated on you. He admits he still has feelings for this other woman. Why would you want to settle for that when you can do better. Divorce is difficult. But you will come out of it stronger.
Is your marriage over? We can't answer that. Can you stand to live with a man who has cheated on you and still has feelings for that woman?
Are you prepared to live with a man who has no problem with deceit?
I know I could never live with a partner who has cheated. Especially if there were marriage vows exchanged. In my opinion, you both give 100% each, or you break it off.
He broke your heart, he broke your trust, and still maintains that he has feelings for the other woman. I truly hope there are no children involved.
Does not sound like counseling is over, sounds like it is just starting, that is, if you want to try and make it work.
But husband also will have to want to make it work.
So yes he cheated (can you forgive that) and he had feelings, does he also have feelings for you ? Is he willing to stop having any contact with other women ?
Sounds like time for months and months more of counseling, if not, yes it is over
My husband only went to counseling because I'm asking for half of everything and the judge and his lawyer told him that it was in his best interest to go and do what he was told. He tried to buy me out but, not giving me what I asked for. We don't have any kids togther so what can I expect from the judge now?
He works with this woman. He told the counselor that he always had an attraction for this woman & since we were having issue he went for it. The attractions had been on his part for about 15 yrs is what he told us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
You deserve better. You need to know you deserve better. If is refuses to commit then hanging on to nothing won't be healthy for you. It is okay to go talk to a therapist just for your needs.
As far as what the judge may or may not do, you need to seek legal advice from somewhere other than the web.
Thanks! I know it's hard I have been married to this man for 9 years. I have talked him out of divorce once before and was hoping to do it again. I do have a lawyer. I hate that woman because we were OK until she came a long! We weren't the best but we were OK. Now he wants to be with her telling her that she is his gift. That just burns me up!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver2011
Of course it does and you have every right to be angry, upset, hurt, etc. Now it is time to start thinking about you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jquisey
They may next ask for you both to go into mediation, (basicly meet to try to work out division of property, that both can agree to.
If not, then judge will divide Property according to state law.
The counseling in this case is merely part of the required court situation.
You went to counseling he admitted he cheated and still has feeling for this woman, he only went to counseling because he was told he should and he still wants a divorce. I'd say it's over. Why would you want to stay married to man like that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jquisey
Lose dead weight.
I'm going to have to move and he is going to move his girl friend into the house. I can't afford the house so I was told by my lawyer that he will keep the house. I don't want her in our house! I'm having a hard time with this. I don't want really want him I don't want her to have him or my stuff!!
What you can do its learn to live with it... because honestly you don't have a say in it. That's not meant to be harsh.. but it's the reality of things.
You got compensated in cash and other assets so in reality its his stuff.
Besides... its healthier for you to put this all behind you and move on. Stressing over everything isn't good for you.
It didn't work out and you can't focus on your future if you dwell in the past.
You're right I'm hurting now, and I know that our friends are going to talking & laughing with her. I gave this man so much of me. Talking about she is his gift just make me want to slap him.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Very.. very few people can shut off their emotions like a light... it will take some time... focus on you right now.. focus on your future.. and you will find you think less and less about him and his girlfriend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jquisey
Eventually you are going to be laughing about what you ever saw in him in the first place.
He asked my 24 yr. old daughter to be in his 3rd marriage to the women that he's leaving me for. The nerve of this joker!Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Definitely puts the daughter in the middle of this. Since I don't know the timeline... was she his actual daughter or stepdaughter?
Stepdaughter she mind daughter from another marriage.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Ok... then there really is less reason... particularly if you were married a lot less than that 24 years. And the shorter that marriage was... the less reason for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jquisey
If they had a good relationship... its still a very awkward position for her to be in.
I'm guessing she accepted? If she declined... do your best to ignore it... for the sake of your own stress levels.
She told him that she had to talk to me about it first. I can't believe that he is going to get marry so soon. They are planning a beach wedding. He told my daughter that he love this other woman and that the 3rd time is the charm.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
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