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-   -   Can I be 9 and have a boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=762532)

  • Aug 13, 2013, 05:41 PM
    KoolKat102
    Can I be 9 and have a boyfriend?
    I really like this boy, do I go for it??
  • Aug 13, 2013, 05:53 PM
    N0help4u
    9 is an age where you want to get to know boys but not a boyfriend.
  • Aug 13, 2013, 07:31 PM
    teacherjenn4
    A 9 year old is not in Middle School. I would imagine 3rd -4th grade. If so, you have no business having a boyfriend. I'm sure your parents would agree.
  • Aug 13, 2013, 07:54 PM
    Alty
    You're way too young, and will be for many more years.

    Here's the thing, at your age, and until you're at least 16 (depends on where you live), you'll need your parents permission to date. I doubt very much that any parent would give their 9 year old permission to date.

    So no, you can't just go for it, what your parents says goes until you're an adult
  • Aug 13, 2013, 09:32 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You become friends, just friends, you are not ready for boyfriend
  • Aug 19, 2013, 07:58 PM
    6thgradegirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    You're way too young, and will be for many more years.

    Here's the thing, at your age, and until you're at least 16 (depends on where you live), you'll need your parents permission to date. I doubt very much that any parent would give their 9 year old permission to date.

    So no, you can't just go for it, what your parents says goes until you're an adult

    First of all, "alty", kids have boyfriends when they are in second grade. Not everyone's parents is way to overprotective like yours. I think you can, even though it probably won't last very long.
  • Aug 19, 2013, 08:06 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 6thgradegirl View Post
    First of all, "alty", kids have boyfriends when they are in second grade. Not everyones parents is way to overprotective like yours. I think you can, even though it probably wont last very long.

    No one has a boyfriend or a girlfriend in second grade. They may have friends that are boys or girls, but a 7or 8 year old isn't old enough to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
  • Aug 19, 2013, 11:10 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 6thgradegirl View Post
    First of all, "alty", kids have boyfriends when they are in second grade. Not everyones parents is way to overprotective like yours. I think you can, even though it probably wont last very long.

    Kids call others their boyfriend or girlfriend in second grade, but it's child's play, children trying to act like grownups.

    Most parents I know would not agree to allowing their 9 year old child to date.

    Bottom line, if the parents don't agree, no, you cannot date. You may think they can, but I know they can't. There's a big difference between thinking something, and knowing something. You might want to read up on it, educate yourself, before you give wrong advice to others.
  • Aug 20, 2013, 12:05 AM
    joypulv
    When I was 9 (57 years ago), having a boyfriend or girlfriend was considered by parents to be harmless and cute. I think I was even younger than 9 when I went straight from hating boys to having a crush on one. It didn't last long and it meant nothing.
    These days I have no idea what parents are contending with.
    Tell us, KoolKat, what does it mean to you to have a boyfriend?
  • Aug 20, 2013, 03:18 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 6thgradegirl View Post
    First of all, "alty", kids have boyfriends when they are in second grade. Not everyones parents is way to overprotective like yours. I think you can, even though it probably wont last very long.

    It is not "overprotective" for parents to try and get their children to enjoy their childhood while they are a child. Children today try to grow up too fast and emulate adult behaviors they see in the media way before they are ready to handle them.

    You are a typical example of a child who thinks she knows more than the adults who have already gone through growing up.
  • Aug 25, 2013, 10:10 PM
    greatstudent
    First I highly suggest asking your parents if they allow you. Nine is a very young age to start dating or thinking of having a boyfriend/girlfriend, but if you do decide to go for it then be very careful! Keep caution and know what is right to do and was is NOT right to do. Good luck! :)
  • Aug 26, 2013, 03:06 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by greatstudent View Post
    First I highly suggest asking your parents if they allow you. Nine is a very young age to start dating or thinking of having a boyfriend/girlfriend, but if you do decide to go for it then be very careful! Keep caution and know what is right to do and was is NOT right to do. Good luck! :)

    This is not a matter to "suggest". A minor NEEDS to get parental permission to date. A minor can't "decide" for themselves in this matter.

    I know you mean well, but there is no room for equivocation here.
  • Aug 26, 2013, 11:48 AM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by greatstudent View Post
    First I highly suggest asking your parents if they allow you. Nine is a very young age to start dating or thinking of having a boyfriend/girlfriend, but if you do decide to go for it then be very careful! Keep caution and know what is right to do and was is NOT right to do. Good luck! :)

    The kids posting on this forum still don't seem to get it. I'll post it again, and I suggest everyone read it before posting more advice.

    At the age of 9 she can not legally date without her parents permission. That means that if she decided to take your advice and "decide to go for it", without her parents permission, she'd be breaking the law.

    You can't suggest that she ask her parents. Suggesting makes it an option. There is no option in this. She must have her parents permission first. There is no other choice. If she doesn't ask her parents, and if they don't say yes, she can't date. Period.
  • Aug 27, 2013, 05:23 PM
    epicolizard
    Lol 9 aren't guys supposed to be running from girls wait until 5th grade because that's when people start dating but kind of like sitting together at lunch and texting this lasts until at least 9th grade 9 is way to young take this from a 6th grader
  • Aug 27, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by epicolizard View Post
    lol 9 arent guys supposed to be running from girls wait until 5th grade because thats when people start dating but kinda like sitting together at lunch and texting this lasts until atleast 9th grade 9 is way to young take this from a 6th grader

    Thank you so much for giving us the epic wisdom of a 10-11 year old. Thank goodness there are children here to answer important questions. What would we do without their wisdom? (sarcasm font engaged)
  • Aug 27, 2013, 05:41 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by epicolizard View Post
    lol 9 arent guys supposed to be running from girls wait until 5th grade because thats when people start dating but kinda like sitting together at lunch and texting this lasts until atleast 9th grade 9 is way to young take this from a 6th grader

    Dating isn't sitting next to each other at lunch.
  • Aug 27, 2013, 07:07 PM
    Animal Luvr
    I'm in 8th grade and I've never had a boyfriend and I don't plan to until it actually counts (the way my friends and I see it, dating at a young age is stupid and those of my friends who did "date" while they were younger are super ashamed of it and blame their decision on being a stupid little kid). Since I was little though, most of my friends have been guys and I still have plenty of friends who are guys. Just be friends with the guy and wait until you are older.
  • Sep 16, 2013, 09:19 PM
    ladylike1234
    In 3rd-4th grade dating was walking and talking about random stuff. So you can call it dating but it's not.We didn't start legit dating until the end of 5th grade. By the way how are you 9 and in middle school?

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    The kids posting on this forum still don't seem to get it. I'll post it again, and I suggest everyone read it before posting more advice.

    At the age of 9 she can not legally date without her parents permission. That means that if she decided to take your advice and "decide to go for it", without her parents permission, she'd be breaking the law.

    You can't suggest that she ask her parents. Suggesting makes it an option. There is no option in this. She must have her parents permission first. There is no other choice. If she doesn't ask her parents, and if they don't say yes, she can't date. Period.

    I had no idea it was illegal , in what states ,because I live in New Mexico and I've never heard that
  • Sep 16, 2013, 09:30 PM
    N0help4u
    Illegal would be if you are going somewhere your parents forbid you to go, or otherwise by law should not be going or doing as a minor. Dating in the sense kids under 15 use the term is not illegal unless your parents do not consent to you 'dating' at that age.
    Dating at your age would be hanging out with friends in a group while sitting, walking, talking to the girl you consider your date. Or going somewhere chaperoned by parents such as skating.
  • Sep 17, 2013, 03:10 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ladylike1234 View Post
    I had no idea it was illegal , in what states ,because I live in New Mexico and I've never heard that

    Until you are 18 you are under the control of your parents. Your parents decide where you can go and who you can be with. If your parents do not allow this, then the other person can get in trouble for parental interference.

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