I've been dating this guy for over a month now. Everything was going well at least I thought so. Last I spoke to him was on a Friday. I didn't call him on Saturday, giving him space. He didn't call me, so I called him Sunday, no answer, called and text messaged him Monday, no answer. He didn't still reply or call today. I have no clue what's going on. I feel clueless ughh! '

Maybe after a month he has decided he does not want to date you, or met someone else.
You have left messages so he can get in touch when and if he wants to. Assume he doesn't and is just rude. Move on.

The ball is in his court

Sucks I guess ! Thank you !

Maybe his phone is damaged or he had an emergency out of town and forgot his phone. It was stolen. The possibilities are virtually endless.

Do you have other means of contact with him such as email, in person, twitter, Facebook, etc.

How well do you know him? Have you been to his home or met some of his friends? Has his behavior ever suggested he was trying to 'hide' you? Does he acknowledge you are in a relationship or does he think of it as casual dating? Has he ever hinted that things have progressed slower/faster than he would like?

It may be he is trying to break things off. It may be he is not able to contact you at this moment.

If you think it could a broken phone or other innocent problem, give him time to contact you when he can. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him, but give him a chance if he does contact you in the next few days or week.

If you look at the relationship and see warning signs you weren't paying attention to before this, then let it go and move on.

Don't chase him. Let him initiate if he wants to. Also, if he does text, I wouldn't respond for some time. Let him wonder like you have...

I would not chase him but I would not play the "delaying a reply" game either. That is childish. It is never smart to play games in a relationship.

You could always give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps something may have happened. Until then I would not initiate any text messages.

If he does respond with a non legitimate reason why he hasn't contacted you in 3 days, then personally and honestly I would not respond back quickly. That is just me though. Why should you jump when he says to jump. Yes, perhaps it would be childish to ignore him for days on end but not to get back to him for 2-3 hours won't kill him.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Maybe his phone is damaged or he had an emergency out of town and forgot his phone. It was stolen. The possibilities are virtually endless


Do you have other means of contact with him such as email, in person, twitter, Facebook, etc.?

How well do you know him? Have you been to his home or met some of his friends? Has his behavior ever suggested he was trying to 'hide' you? Does he acknowledge you are in a relationship or does he think of it as casual dating? Has he ever hinted that things have progressed slower/faster than he would like?

It may be he is trying to break things off. It may be he is not able to contact you at this moment.

If you think it could a broken phone or other innocent problem, give him time to contact you when he can. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him, but give him a chance if he does contact you in the next few days or week.

If you look at the relationship and see warning signs you weren't paying attention to before this, then let it go and move on.

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Yes I've been to his house plenty of times I've met his family members we been dating over a month it's not official yet he says he likes me a lot & wants to be with me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because he doesn't want to hurt me I just don't get how Friday I spoke to him everything was good then I give him space and he hasn't hit me up or responded to any of my calls not even today I know he's been at work because one of my friends work with him and I work across the street from him I haven't bumped into him so I have no clue what's going on sucks to feel cluess like I'm missing something :/

Well he said he does not want to be in a relationship with you, so I guess he feels he does not have to call you. Sounds like he may have someone else in the wings. It's only been a month. Forget about him and move on.

He wants space and doesn't want to be in a relationship after being with you for a month will usually indicate that there is someone else on the side that he is seeing. He doesn't want to dump you or tell you it's over either out of guilt or out of the need to have you there in case the other one doesn't work out.

Not saying this is definite but I have seen it plenty of times.

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Originally Posted by Sassy love

Yes I've been to his house plenty of times I've met his family members we been dating over a month it's not official yet he says he likes me a lot & wants to be with me but doesn't wanna be in a relationship right now because he doesn't wanna hurt me I just don't get how Friday I spoke to him everything was good then I give him space and he hasn't hit me up or responded to any of my calls not even today I know he's been at work because one of my friends work with him and I work across the street from him i havent bumped into him so I have no clue what's going on sucks to feel cluess like I'm missing something :/

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I think one red flag is that you consider one day to be giving him 'space'. I would think that a full weekend would qualify more as giving someone a little breathing room or perhaps even a week.

How often have you been talking to each other?

Why does he think he would hurt you?

I think you have different expectations than he does. You may see dating as being in a relationship where you see each other a lot and keep in touch almost daily. He appears to be looking for occasional companionship and casual dating. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. He just isn't at the same place you are.

Can you adjust to his needs and adapt your expectations? If not, let him go and find someone new who is looking for what you are in a relationship.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

I think one red flag is that you consider one day to be giving him 'space'. I would think that a full weekend would qualify more as giving someone a little breathing room or perhaps even a week.

How often have you been talking to each other?

Why does he think he would hurt you?

I think you have different expectations than he does. You may see dating as being in a relationship where you see each other a lot and keep in touch almost daily. He appears to be looking for occasional companionship and casual dating. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. He just isn't at the same place you are.

Can you adjust to his needs and adapt your expectations? If not, let him go and find someone new who is looking for what you are in a relationship.

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Your totally right! We talk daily that's the thing I see him because we bump into each other almost everyday he doesn't want to hurt me being in a relationship because he still wants to be singel and enjoy life I get that part but it's a little over a month of dating and I feel he's avoiding me it's obvious but why ? I'm just frustrated I know he has to be seeing other people he is single and he says he wants to enjoy summer but I feel we were fine and last I spoke to him was Friday because he called me

If he has been honest with you by telling you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship (for whatever reason), and has stopped communicating, there is nothing left

Be careful not to fall into a trap here. Maybe he will call, hoping you will welcome him with open arms and fall right back into a routine, only to be dumped, when he says, again, he doesn't want to be in a relationship.

Should he return, which he very well might, then please set some boundaries with this fellow. Think about telling him what you want in a relationship- honesty, respect, communication-for starters. If he cannot deliver on at least two out of three, don't waste your time following his agenda.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

If he has been honest with you by telling you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship (for whatever reason), and has stopped communicating, there is nothing left

Be careful not to fall into a trap here. Maybe he will call, hoping you will welcome him with open arms and fall right back into a routine, only to be dumped, when he says, again, he doesn't want to be in a relationship.

Should he return, which he very well might, then please set some boundaries with this fellow. Think about telling him what you want in a relationship- honesty, respect, communication-for starters. If he cannot deliver on at least two out of three, don't waste your time following his agenda.

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Im just emotional draied right about now sucks & thanks this is something I have to think about...