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-   -   Does everyone have a friend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=762086)

  • Aug 10, 2013, 05:42 PM
    loplop
    Does everyone have a friend?
    I must wonder, does everyone have a friend?
    I truly have no friends and no possibility of ever having even one.
    High-School, college, work etc. has come and gone and
    I am always alone. You would think everyone has a friend?
    But why don't I.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 05:45 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Have you tried to be a friend to someone? You need to reach out to make friends and be a friend. Try doing some volunteer work. It's a great way to make a friend. If you like animals, find a shelter. They almost always need volunteers.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 06:32 PM
    talaniman
    This seems a continuation of your other thread, and as was explained before practicing your people skill by interacting with others will give you the confidence to make connection on many levels, and you won't be so isolated.

    Actually participating instead of just thinking, wishing, and hoping is sometime what's needed. Volunteering is a good start.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 07:53 PM
    N0help4u
    I am almost 60 and I really don't have any friends. I've known tons of people in my life but none I can really call friends where I call them or they call me and we do things together.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 10:34 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Most people have few real friends. And some people have none.. So if you want friends, you have to work on it
  • Aug 26, 2017, 01:50 PM
    loplop
    I fancy this girl in my office, & we do completely different jobs & workplace-related interaction is limited to maybe once or twice in a month. Should I take the chance & politely ask her out? I know it is highly likely she will say no... but could not hurt? Right?
  • Aug 26, 2017, 03:51 PM
    joypulv
    No, you don't ask someone out until you know them. Get to know her! Start with smiles and saying hi. Say how are you, and what a day, and after you get a sense of how willing she is to be friendly (a few days) say things like how nice she looks, or just tell her something about what a tough work day it's been for you.
    IF she continues to be friendly, THEN you ask her to do a little thing together, such as to sit outside at lunch time. She could have someone for all you know. You'll find out then. THEN you can say no harm done. The hurt is yours. It will be a lot easier if you don't jump into the deep end of the pool.
  • Aug 26, 2017, 04:09 PM
    loplop
    Okay, that makes sense & I had already done the first part, & the comfortable next part would be doing something small together, but hanging out at lunch may not be for us. Any other suggestions?
  • Aug 26, 2017, 05:04 PM
    ma0641
    Dunkin Donuts on Saturday morning.
  • Aug 26, 2017, 05:11 PM
    joypulv
    Yes, a nice coffee shop, or ice cream, and go for a walk, and you can talk as you walk. That's always handy when you are new because you aren't sitting across from each other over-reacting to little facial expressions, and silences are less awkward.

    And it isn't winter yet, even in Canada!
  • Aug 26, 2017, 06:52 PM
    loplop
    It would seem my thoughts on this was a waste, since upon a check on recent social media it is clear she has a boyfriend. Well, better to not get rejected in person again & a less not to have hope.
  • Aug 27, 2017, 03:35 AM
    joypulv
    So back to making friends for the sake of friends.
    Not only do you learn how to be socially comfortable, but you also meet friends of friends, and all of a sudden.... there she is.
    The love of my life was a customer where I worked.
    I always avoided getting romantically entangled with fellow workers, as do most people, wisely.
  • Aug 27, 2017, 05:36 AM
    loplop
    Okay, will keep trying to make friends & gather courage & support from myself which is all I have, but not to be a downer, but it looks like she's really serious with them for like over five years, but I never saw any type of ring on her unless my radar was way off.
  • Aug 27, 2017, 08:42 AM
    joypulv
    RING?? The odds of seeing a ring are very low.
    I never had an engagement ring.
    I have two wedding rings in a box. I never wore either one.
    The feel of a ring on my finger feels uncomfortable to me.

    Good grief. People are friends, they date, they maybe get engaged, many just live together for years, they get married when they want kids and a home with a mortgage, LOL.
    As we hippies said in the 1960s, free your mind, expand your consciousness.
    JUST BE FRIENDLY with people you like, or might like, with everybody, men and women and kids and strangers.

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