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-   -   If you have had premarital sex, can you fast the next day? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=762004)

  • Aug 10, 2013, 12:59 AM
    heaven2205
    If you have had premarital sex, can you fast the next day?
    I am currently seeing my boyfriend and we plan to get married next year, but we find it very hard to abstain from sexual intercourse because of the sexual attraction as well as knowing we are spiritually married through having intercourse.

    God has confirmed on numerous occasions that we are one and we really want to get married now but this is very difficult as neither of us have full-time jobs to save for rings etc.

    I am very much involved in my church and still fast because I don't want to abandon my relationship with God due to our weakness. My question is: If I find that I have committed a sin via having intercourse with my boyfriend am I allowed to fast the next day after having confessed my sin to God?
  • Aug 10, 2013, 01:43 AM
    joypulv
    You are 'allowed' to fast any time you want.
    I don't understand the connection to confession. Nor do I understand why you think you would have to abandon your relationship with God because you believe that you have sinned.
    This should really be under Religion and under the specific religion. If you are Christian, then isn't being Christian all about God's love and forgiveness?
  • Aug 10, 2013, 03:07 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    You may fast, God may not pay it any attention, but you can fast.

    And there is no need for rings, if you want to marry, you marry, costs about 20 to 100 dollars depending on where you live ( if in the US)

    So the issue here, you chose to sin, and make excuses why you can not marry.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 03:21 AM
    heaven2205
    Hi, in the UK it costs £200-£300 for the marriage certificates and to register both names.

    I'm not making excuses for not marrying, because its not that simple. We both want to get married, but want to do it properly.

    I live my parents who are also Christians and quite strict. My dad won't give me away unless I have a proper wedding in a church etc, so its not as simple as you think.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 03:25 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    It is simple, you are making excuses, sorry, excuses are easy when you want to live your way, not God's way.

    A church "wedding" is just a blessing from God in the UK, and can be done anytime you want latter. And yes, marriiage is that simple, you just with to make it hard so you do not have to do it.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 04:13 AM
    Curlyben
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by heaven2205 View Post
    Hi, in the UK it costs £200-£300 for the marriage certificates and to register both names.

    No it doesn't.
    It's LESS than £100 for the legal part...
  • Aug 10, 2013, 04:25 AM
    heaven2205
    That's not the case at all. I've always wanted to get married, but we want to do it properly.

    If I didn't want to get married I wouldn't mention it on here.

    A wedding day is supposed to be special and reflect your love for each other, so we want to do it in a way that reflects how much we love each other by having a wedding that will also make my parents happy.

    I can respect your view, but as you don't fully know my situation I can't expect you to understand.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 04:57 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Is it "doing it the right way" to be having sex before marriage, according to the church, is not the wedding night suppose to be the special thing.

    I did many weddings a week, at a park or at a persons home, because they could not afford a large wedding.

    So you love each other enough to be having sex, but do not respect each other enough to marry. If you really loved each other, you would marry, and then have a large celebration when you can afford it ( if you ever do) how many years, 4 years, 10 years, or longer to afford to do it

    Everyone for some reason thinks, their situation is different, at about 200 weddings a year, sorry, it is common,
  • Aug 10, 2013, 05:08 AM
    Curlyben
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by heaven2205 View Post
    That's not the case at all. I've always wanted to get married, but we want to do it properly.

    If i didn't want to get married i wouldn't mention it on here.

    UK registry offices..
    https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-p...ships/overview

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cost of registering a marriage or civil partnership

    You will have to pay a fee to register the marriage or civil partnership.

    This is £45 if you have the ceremony at a register office, but may be more at other venues. Ask the registrar or religious minister for details.

    The marriage or civil partnership certificate costs £4 on the day of the event - you may need a copy to prove your marital status in the future.

    That's EXACTLY what I personally did several years ago.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by heaven2205 View Post
    A wedding day is supposed to be special and reflect your love for each other, so we want to do it in a way that reflects how much we love each other by having a wedding that will also make my parents happy.


    To "do it properly" costs, on average, £15,000 at current rates.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by heaven2205 View Post
    I can respect your view, but as you don't fully know my situation i can't expect you to understand.

    As I am answering from personal experience I doubt you have any clue about my views, as you clearly haven't done your research, which is about 5 seconds on Google >/rant<
  • Aug 10, 2013, 05:14 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    And I have friends who are priests in the UK, they do private weddings all the time. (well blesings since they are not part of Church of England) and the actual wedding has to be civil.

    And special is not expensive, that is a product sold by magazines, special is the love and the event, It is no better or no more speical if it costs 20,000 than if it costs 1000 or 100
  • Aug 10, 2013, 06:56 AM
    Homegirl 50
    You are asking if God will forgive you for a sin you are going to commit on purpose and then ask forgiveness for? Think about that for a moment.
    You are wanting to put off a wedding so you can have a nice one to please your parents, but have sex believing that won't please God.
    Get married to this man if you two love each other and want to be with each other.
    Do you both work, you don't have to have a big affair. If you want to reflect your love for each other, don't get caught up in the ceremony, get married.
    How old are the two of you?
  • Aug 10, 2013, 07:23 AM
    N0help4u
    You check around as the others said. Have an inexpensive civil marriage (elope). Then when you have money do a formal. Homegirl is right, you can't play games with God like that. He knows your heart and you have to live him from spirit not some religious ritual.

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