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-   -   Should I apologize to my ex? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=761776)

  • Aug 8, 2013, 03:37 AM
    tenderman
    Should I apologize to my ex?
    Hi there. I broke up with my girlfriend 3 month ago and we had not been talking ever since. We had a great relationship until something clicked in her head and started to act strange. Then I asked her what's wrong and she replied I think we should break up and we did.

    I'm not a bad guy. I never did anything to hurt her feelings in any way. Maybe I was overly attached to her, maybe that's why she broke up with me. So its been 3 month and I haven't talked to her. I have this feeling that I should apologize to her. Should I apologize?
  • Aug 8, 2013, 04:13 AM
    joypulv
    No. Do not contact someone who breaks up with you (besides, I think you want to know why she broke up more than you want to apologize - you don't even know what you are sorry for). If you think you have a problem of over-attachment, talk about it here. Were you jealous? Possessive? Suspicious? Demanding? Perhaps there are things to learn about yourself to prepare for your next relationship.
  • Aug 8, 2013, 05:59 AM
    N0help4u
    Apologize for what? If you haven't got a clue what you did. It will come off as insincere or desperate .
  • Aug 8, 2013, 06:13 AM
    Homegirl 50
    No. I think you just want to talk to her. Leave it alone.
    What do you have to apologize for, she left you.
  • Aug 8, 2013, 06:39 AM
    Gullyver
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Apologize for what? If you havent got a clue what you did. It will come off as insincere or desperate .

    She is right, you should not apologise and if you not even sure about what to apologize why doing it, for the sake of make her happy?

    Yes, it will look like the desperate action of an insincere person and she will be even more angry and distant.

    Try your best to focus on your life instead
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:03 PM
    tenderman
    Thank you guys for your advice. What should I do now because her friend is telling me to go talk to her but when I try to just say hi, she just walks away
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:07 PM
    talaniman
    Leave her alone.
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:07 PM
    tenderman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    No. Do not contact someone who breaks up with you (besides, I think you want to know why she broke up more than you want to apologize - you don't even know what you are sorry for). If you think you have a problem of over-attachment, talk about it here. Were you jealous? Possessive? Suspicious? Demanding? Perhaps there are things to learn about yourself to prepare for your next relationship.
    No I wasn't really demanding or possessive or jealous. I was joking around sometimes when I ask her are you cheating on me? And she would just went absolutely nuts and got mad at me but I told her I was joking and told her something to prove I love her and that's that
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:10 PM
    joypulv
    Tell us why on earth her friend is telling you to talk to her.
    From the way your ex acts, it's bad advice.
    Unless your ex wants you to beg and plead and blurt out love and apologies the instant you see her, instead of a tentative hi, how could we know? You tell us!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tenderman View Post
    No i wasn't really demanding or possessive or jealous. I was joking around sometimes when i ask her are you cheating on me? And she would just went absolutely nuts and got mad at me but i told her i was joking and told her something to prove i love her and that's that
    OH DEAR OH NO. No, that's not joking around. No no no!
    And then you made it all better by saying something to 'prove' you loved her?
    No you didn't. You think you did, but I guarantee that you did no such thing. Words don't prove love, and your words proved that you didn't trust her, that you were suspicious of her, and guess what? That's not love. That's possessiveness and mistrust, and they don't fall under the definition of love at all.
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:20 PM
    tenderman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    OH DEAR OH NO. No, that's not joking around. No no no!
    And then you made it all better by saying something to 'prove' you loved her?
    No you didn't. You think you did, but I guarantee that you did no such thing. Words don't prove love, and your words proved that you didn't trust her, that you were suspicious of her, and guess what? That's not love. That's possessiveness and mistrust, and they don't fall under the definition of love at all.
    She said as a joke lets break up 2 days before I said that and I thought she wasn't kidding and I was shocked too so I Figured it was fine

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Tell us why on earth her friend is telling you to talk to her.
    From the way your ex acts, it's bad advice.
    Unless your ex wants you to beg and plead and blurt out love and apologies the instant you see her, instead of a tentative hi, how could we know? You tell us!
    Well I talked to her 2 month ago and asked why we broke up and can we be friends at least and she said no you figure out what happened and apologize for it and we haven't talked since then.
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:28 PM
    talaniman
    Obviously you haven't figured it out, so leave her alone.
  • Aug 9, 2013, 08:55 PM
    tenderman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Obviously you haven't figured it out, so leave her alone.
    Yea obviously I haven't because I have no clue what she is talking about and so does her friend!
  • Aug 9, 2013, 09:04 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Maybe she was upset because you accused her of cheating. But since you don't know what the reason is and she won't tell you, leave her alone.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 01:36 AM
    joypulv
    'Well I talked to her 2 month ago and asked why we broke up and can we be friends at least and she said no you figure out what happened and apologize for it and we haven't talked since then.'

    NOW you tell us that she WANTS an apology?
    I'm sorry to be blunt, but you do seem to have a high degree of cluelessness about relationships.
    Here's my guess: She said 'maybe we should break up' as a test of your feelings for her, and rather than say no please tell me what's wrong, you asked her if she was cheating - a very bad idea of joking around. That threw her off enough to make her just get really mad, but if 'things were fine' for a few days after that, it's only because she was thinking about your accusation, and getting even angrier.
  • Aug 10, 2013, 10:32 PM
    tenderman
    I guess you guys are right it is my fault

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