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-   -   Love and hell! HELP!! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=761633)

  • Aug 6, 2013, 10:34 PM
    LOVELION06
    Love and hell! HELP!!
    I'm madly In love with a 17 year old... I'm only 12. Is this normal. Should I be THIS in love with him? And he has never pressured me to do anything I'm not comfortable with.
  • Aug 6, 2013, 11:35 PM
    Alty
    No, this is not normal, nor is it healthy. He's almost an adult, you're not even a teenager yet.

    This age difference could land him in jail, even if you don't have sex. Unless your mom and dad agree to let you date this boy/man, you legally cannot. I doubt that your parents are going to agree to letting their 12 year old date a 17 year old. I'd be very worried about why a 17 year old would even want to date a child your age, that's not at all normal, in fact, that's something very troubling.
  • Aug 7, 2013, 01:11 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Men have ways of making the child think it is all their idea, and perhaps he has not ask for sex yet, but he will. Unless you are doing it already,

    But this is completely wrong, and I know you will not believe me, but you are not in love, at 12, you have no idea of what love even is. Not real love.

    What has your parents said about you seeing and dating a 17 year old
  • Aug 7, 2013, 03:16 AM
    ScottGem
    It is perfectly normal for you to crush on someone at your age. Especially someone who pays attention to you. But you really don't know what love is, you just think its love.

    You don't say whether you are actually in a relationship with him or for how long. Nor do you define what you you are comfortable with. But it is highly inappropriate and wrong for him to be in any sort of romantic relationship with you.

    And yes, are your parents aware of this?
  • Aug 7, 2013, 05:13 AM
    N0help4u
    You figure out what QUALITIES you like about him and save it in your memory bank for when you are old enough to look for those qualities in someone else when you get to be his age.
  • Aug 7, 2013, 06:47 AM
    Sjns14
    Its normal but should keep in mind that you don't get in a sexual relationship with him... hugs and kisses is enough
  • Aug 7, 2013, 06:57 AM
    N0help4u
    12 year old should NOT be hug and kissing a 17 year old guy
  • Aug 7, 2013, 07:09 AM
    Homegirl 50
    ... and a 17 year old guy should not be hugging and kissing a 12 year old girl.
    At 12 you are not in love, you have a crush. I don't know what's up with the boy. That is just wrong and creepy.
    Do your parents know about this?
  • Aug 7, 2013, 07:13 AM
    N0help4u
    I'm wondering if the guy does more than walk and talk with her on occasions and she is reading 'relationship' into it.
  • Aug 7, 2013, 07:29 AM
    Jake2008
    You are infatuated with him, probably because he treats you special, not like a pre-teen, but more grown up. He has you already trusting him, and enjoying his company because he's kind and funny and flattering. He knows just what to say, and how to behave to keep a 12 year old coming back for more.

    Think wolf in sheep's clothing. He's working you to get something, no other reason.

    And, he can see you are interested in him, you say love- which is a very powerful indicator that this 'relationship' has already gone too far, because you have serious feelings for him, and he knows it.

    17 year olds, should be dating other 17 year olds. Not pre-teens who are easily manipulated emotionally by the idea of a boyfriend in their lives.

    I am not saying you are stupid or ignorant. I'm saying that there is a world of difference between maturity with this 17 year old.

    It would be like you dating a 7 year old. You'd be more likely to babysit a 7 year old than be infatuated with one.

    What makes this all the more dangerous is the fact that, because of the way you are feeling, you aren't strong enough to stand up to a 17 year old male, and end this. A 16 year old girl, most likely would be able to. He is playing you, and you're making it easy for him, because of your age.

    It's not your sparkling wit, or your plans for university, or your car, or your pre-teen friends that he likes. How does he do in a playground, or on his bike, or going to the mall with you and your parents. How do you manage with HIS friends, and staying out late, and fitting into his world.

    And you are a world apart.

    It's time to grow up a bit, realize you are likely being played, and if you don't play, he'll find another pre-teen to 'have a relationship with', and do exactly the same things he is doing with you. Exactly the same. You are only a fish in the barrel.

    Before you get into very serious trouble- i.e. cops, court, restraining orders, etc.-give your head a shake. Realize that what YOU are doing is not right, or appropriate, nor will it go anywhere but trouble. Before you find yourself doing things FOR him, so that he'll remain your boyfriend- which he's counting on- sit down with your mother and tell her what's going on.

    Save yourself a lot of trouble by taking care of this now, rather than having your parents mad as hell, and the embarrassment of facing this with family, friends, school, etc.

    Stop. Now.

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