My boyfriend is an amazing person. We have been together for 2 years and I feel like I've found "the one". Everybody he has ever been with has cheated on him in horrible situations. He doesn't trust me at all and is always accusing me of stuff. It really hurts me because I'm not like that and would never do that to him or anybody.

I'm so in love with him but I don't know what to do. He is so sensitive and gets mad at me for EVERYTHING. When he gets mad at me he is so mean and always accusing me of the most horrible stuff and it hurts me so much. I don't want to leave him, I want to try and make it work and I know he does too. I know he loves me more than anything he just can't get pasted his paranoia. Any suggestions??

He's amazing and "the one" yet he accuses you of cheating, gets mad at you for everything, and he's mean and accuses you of horrible stuff.

Read what you wrote to us and then tell me how he is so amazing... If he was cheated on in the past, that is not your problem and it is not up to you to convince him that you aren't doing what he says you're doing. If he doesn't trust you, there's not much you can do. If it was me, I wouldn't be thinking he's so amazing and "the one" with him treating me this way... I also wouldn't be investing too much more time into him.

Way too many red flags! He would probably get mad at Mother Theresa too. You can't make him trust you. You can't make him quit being mean. He has issues and he is going to just keep taking it all out on you.

Amazing partners don't get mad. Amazing partners are not accusatory. This man/boy is emotionally abusive, he's not amazing.

He has trust issues, and I can understand that, but before he can be "amazing" he has to work through these trust issues. Until then you will remain in an emotionally abusive relationship.

IM the one who wrote the question: so basically what you are saying is there is no Hope for him and I shouldn't even continue on in this relationship because he will never change?I mean I used to be like him in past relationships and I changed. I'm not arguing your advice I just really want to know because he is trying and he has gotten a lot better

I'm wondering what kind of stuff does he get mad at you for?

Just little stuff like tonight he was upset because our roommate which he can't stand, was talking my.ear off and I wasn't paying him and e attention because she was taking all my attention. It's always small stupid stuff in my opinion that he is being to sensitive about

You can't change someone. He has to want to change for himself. Until that time you will still get the same treatment he is giving you.

He has to learn to deal with things differently. Instead of getting mad at you after the fact, he should just say ''hey babe, when you are done there it would be nice if we had some time together."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by martymartin26

It's always small stupid stuff in my opinion that he is being to sensitive about

---

If he is sensitive about "small stupid stuff" and gets so mad, how will he react when it's "big important stuff" (or what he thinks is that, like if thinks you are cheating on him or lying to him or not available when he wants you around)?

If he is accusing you of things that you know you aren't doing, then maybe its him who is guilty and is secretly doings the things that he puts on you.

I have to agree with the others, he is not amazing, he is loser and needs to learn to deal with his own problems. You need to have enough respect to stand up to him and not allow him to talk to you like that, or treat you like that.

If that is love, I bet you will be great if he decided to beat you, what he is doing is verbal or emotional abuse.

No idea what a person would see or "love" about someone who treats you so badly

As you have described him, he has a problem with needing to be in control. That he berates you, belittles you, is accusatory, disrespectful, angry, and judgmental, means that he needs to keep you under control.

Controlling people will go to great lengths to tear you down- yourself esteem, your confidence, the way you think, and act. Who you associate with, time you spend with other people, your activities, all of it is subject to his approval. Which won't happen, because he needs to be in charge of ALL of it.

The more you resist and argue your defense of such ridiculous accusations and behavior, the more he applies pressure, in order to control you.

It gets worse, not better.

He would never, most likely, encourage any friendship with another male, say a co-worker, or encourage you to develop a talent through taking a night course, or any singular activity- like a shopping trip to NYC with your mother.

Nothing you do, will change the way he is.

You will be treated no differently than any other girlfriend he's had, or will have. You have to accept him, not the other way around.

There are many reasons controlling behavior happens. I won't get into that except to say, that without some therapy to gain understanding and insight into his own behavior, he will not learn how to change.

That you accept his behavior toward you without reservation, and little to no understanding of why you do, might be a good indicator that you too, need counseling. At least, when this relationship ends, you might have greater insight into why it's probably a good idea, to avoid men like this like the plague.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If he is sensitive about "small stupid stuff" and gets so mad, how will he react when it's "big important stuff" (or what he thinks is that, like if thinks you are cheating on him or lying to him or not available when he wants you around)?

---

Thank you guys for all your input

Mot females will tell a guy that they won't be treated like crap no matter what his issues are and when they have had enough BS, they dump the bums.

You will too when you have had enough BS, and finally get your dignity and self respect in order. Then you will know exactly what to do about him and his issues, and behavior.