We met when I was 16, she was 15. I was quite popular in high school and so was she. We hit it off almost immediately, and the first year-year and a half things were just great.

I started to develop anxiety soon afterwards and depression after that. Low self-esteem and confidence followed. Although I felt sub-human, she always made it clear that she was there for me, and didn't care that I was uncomfortable taking her out to socialize with people.

A few months ago I started making some progress in dealing with my emotional problems, to the point where I could actually feel comfortable walking around town etc. I guess maybe I was so transfixed on trying to turn my life around, I didn't pay my girlfriend as much attention as I should have.

Last week, she went on holiday in Europe and throughout the week, I noticed she wasn't texting me as much as she would have been, given that she hadn't seen me in a week (it usually affects her a lot) so I asked her if everything was OK. Her reply was that everything was fine and she was enjoying herself in Italy so much that she didn't want to come back. I jokingly asked her 'Don't you miss me?'. She said 'I don't really miss anyone lol.'

Anyway, she came home last night and I was waiting up until 1AM for her to arrive. Everything seemed normal and we fell asleep cuddling. I had to leave early in the morning for work, but continued to text her throughout the morning. I asked her if I had done anything or said anything wrong, to which she said 'No, why?'. I told her that I just thought she seemed a bit uninterested ever since she went to Italy.

She told me that I never make an effort to carry a conversation with her, to which I apologized and promised I would not let our relationship fall into this rut again. After about half an hour of discussion, she came to the conclusion that things weren't like they used to be, and perhaps she only loves me as a friend. She also said it would break her heart if we couldn't be friends.

I just feel absolutely crushed. I have no friends (apart from work colleagues who I speak with for maybe 10 minutes every week) and I have no confidence or self-esteem to make new ones. Just when I thought my life was starting to improve, this happens and I'm lower than ever before. Paranoia is seeping into my thoughts every now and again, and I can't stop breaking down every half an hour.

I can't eat or sleep, I just want today to start over completely and for none of this to ever happen. I haven't text her since the breakup - I figure it's best to cut off all ties immediately. But I can't help checking my phone every while to see if she's called, but I don't know what I'd do if she did anyway...

How long will this go on for?

She just called me. She asked me how I was doing. She then told me that she thought she'd made a horrible mistake, and had been distraught all day. She asked me if there would ever be a chance of us reconciling, without me living with the weight of 'is she going to split' on my shoulder. I told her that before I would even consider this, we cease contact for 1 week to ensure that this isn't just jitters she's feeling. After a week, she could call me and we'll discuss what went wrong in the relationship.

I want her back. She's all I have. Was this the right thing to do?

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Originally Posted by ac0405

She just called me. She asked me how I was doing. She then told me that she thought she'd made a horrible mistake, and had been distraught all day. She asked me if there would ever be a chance of us reconciling, without me living with the weight of 'is she gonna split' on my shoulder. I told her that before I would even consider this, we cease contact for 1 week to ensure that this isn't just jitters she's feeling. After a week, she could call me and we'll discuss what went wrong in the relationship.

I want her back. She's all I have. Was this the right thing to do?

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I think you are acting very wisely and doing the right things.
DO not rush to be back with her and try to be as much as possible sure that she really wants you back and is not only mere boredom or fear to stay alone because 'someone' else is not paying her attention...
Your feeling of being absolutely crushed is normal at this stage so do not worry too much but you need to make some friends, stay active do not stop thinking too much, make some moves even if it feels difficult right now...

Only you can improve your life mate,
If you can't eat or sleep that's also normal somehow as you are suffering and you still love her obviously, nothing too strange or abnormal, you are a human being with feelings and not a robot...
You have done very well if you haven't text her since the breakup and if you can't help checking your phone every while to see if she's called I'd do the same so it is not your paranoia... you just still love her

How long will this go on for?

As long you will decide to be out of the game or when she will move on or come back for real...

The important thing is to overcome the sorrow that accompanies any type of separation, such as death or divorce.

The vital thing is to continue advancing. Do not look back. Just forge on.

There are many reasons people bid farewell to one another.

People have their own thoughts and situations.

The deep scars within your heart may not heal quickly. Yet brace yourself so you can look forward. You should strive to move on, cutting through the clouds in your heart.

As long as you advance, new hope will be born. The sun will rise.

Only when you continue to advance can you encounter an even better, more wonderful you.

by Daisaku Ikeda