Hello,
I'm in a confusing part and I'm honestly just looking for any success stories after there was domestic violence. My husband hit me after an argument and knew to leave right away. He has never done anything like this before nor is he violent toward any one else. For now we are separated and I have agreed to not file for divorce yet. I have little contact with him but told him he needs to go to therapy and we will also start marriage counseling. Has anyone successfully recovered their marriage after an incident of abuse?

An incident of abuse yes. A history of temper and/or abuse ni

It all depends on why it happened, was he under undo stress, why did he do it this time, but since he "got away" with it, will he feel free to do it again ?

Has it actually started going to anger management ?

Have you actually started going to counseling.

** also remember counseling is not just to get a couple back together, counseling is to help you both discover what the problems are, and what needs to be done. Many times the answer in counseling is to separate, so counseling is not just to get together, but to find the answer, The answer is often divorce. So both have to be realistic when you enter.

But on one time, after months of counseling and finding the issues, things can work, but also it can never be like it used to be either.

I always have difficulty with the "concept" that someone who has never shown temper or anger or frustration suddenly lashes out and physically abuses someone else.

There were never any signs?

I'd also suggest anger management.

I don't know if could ever trust this person again.

There is much to be said about relationships, when, during a heated argument, neither has the sense God gave a billy goat, to simply walk away.

I do not in any way, shape or form, agree with ANY form of violence, physical or otherwise, but, let's be realistic here. Something got out of control.

Arguing is a good thing, if it is done with respect, consideration, and maturity. Knowing when to fold em', and knowing when to walk away, is also part of the process of arguing constructively. Live to continue another day without having had to resort to such extremes as one is physically hit.

Things have gone too far in a negative way, that was the cause of what happened. He is not a man as you said, with a history of abuse. That does not excuse him, but it does say that both parties were out of control. It is probably good that you left, because once that bar is raised to physical confrontation and force, it will only get worse.

Stop the destructive path you are both on. Get into counseling. Learn from what happened, and learn how to argue. Learn how to deal with anger, and how to solve differences without a full blown screaming match. Learn how to better both talk and listen, and set time aside specifically for simply talking.

Waiting until stress has built up to a boiling point, and then arguing is the opposite of what you should both be doing. What happened could have been entirely avoided, if the two of you knew how to communicate with each other.

If he is willing, and you are willing, get into counseling and change. It would be a shame to throw the marriage away, when something as you've described, could be changed for the better.