Can my husband adopt my son or gain guardianship and will my ex still pay support he lives in New Jersey and my son and I llive in Virginia. My ex owe over 44k in arrears how would I can that if he agrees to reliquishing his rights. He only pays a 1/4 of what he is suppse to and my husband does everything for my son medical dental food shelter etc... the ex does nothing, and choses not to have visitations even when I go to jersey ever other month.
OK what I'm asking is I want to termiate my exs rights and have my husband get guardian/adopt my son, but I don't want my ex off the hook for paying support when that's what is is concerned about the most/

IF he isn't paying now, what makes you think he would pay after your son were adopted? He has to agree to the adoption. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
If your concerned the most about his debt that he will never catch up on and racking it up more then forget the adoption thingy. Your ex probably won't agree to it any way.

Once your husband adopts your son, he's the legal father. In other words, your ex would no longer be obligated to pay support.

Now, I'm not sure what would happen to the arrears. I don't think he'd be off the hook for that, but I would have that taken care of before proceeding with the adoption.

Why haven't you taken him to court over this? He owes over 44k. In most states he could go to jail for that. At the very least you could have his income garnished.

Your ex would still be responsible for arrears, however all future child support would stop as he would no longer be a legal parent.

The ex would also have to agree to terminate his rights in order for the adoption to occur. Would he be willing to do that?