So I have these 3 other friends at my school and one of them just called me on the phone and told me they don't want to be my friend anymore! This is what it was like:

My friend: umm, I just want to tell you that me, [friend's name] and [friend's name] decided that we're not going to be your friend anymore so when we come back in September we won't play with you anymore.
Me: Why? What did I even do?
Friend: Well it's just that we're really tired of you because its really boring when you're with us and you're too quiet and should have some self confidence in yourself!
Me: Yeah, but what did I even do to you guys?
Friend: WE JUST DON'T WANT OR NEED YOU! We don't want to see your face again!
Me: this is not a joke, right?
Friend: this is serious, [my name]! We're just so sick and tired of you! We just want to have more fun so yeah. So now you can just be alone, or find someone else! BYE! *hangs up phone

I do not know what to do. I am, very scared. They were my only friends because the other people in my school don't fit in with me - they're not my type. They're like the loud type of people who love to sing and dance, who talk about shopping, they're athletic and good in sports like the popular people in my school. And I'm not at all those kind of people. And if I'm alone that is extremely embarrassing. Then I will be classified as "the loner" and I don't want that!

What do I do?

Kids can be cruel because they are thoughtless. They don't know what it's like (yet) to be treated this way. And they want to follow the leader, and the leader is usually whoever is bossiest at the moment. It can change on a dime.
I think we all go through something like this (although I'm old and I don't remember it being so common)! We had stricter parents and teachers, for one thing. We didn't DARE.
How old are you? Up to a certain age, I think it's a good idea to tell a parent. The other parents need to know how their children are acting. But of course it means you are a tattler. I'd do it anyway. You need the support.
A lot of times these 'we all decided' things break apart, and at least one person comes to you and says they didn't want to go along with the one who called you.
If there is ONE of them who you think might not be really going along with the crowd, see if you can talk some day soon, maybe your mother can call hers (are you a girl?) and you can invite her out to town for an ice cream.
I think you handled the phone call very well. After all, 'what did I ever do to you?' is what it's all about. Hopefully by fall things will have changed.

As for self-confidence, you tell us - do you have a normal amount or would you say you cringe and cower at every little thing? We can help you with that if it's true. But for now, let's deal with being dumped.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Kids can be cruel because they are thoughtless. They don't know what it's like (yet) to be treated this way. And they want to follow the leader, and the leader is usually whoever is bossiest at the moment. It can change on a dime.
I think we all go through something like this (although I'm old and I don't remember it being so common)! We had stricter parents and teachers, for one thing. We didn't DARE.
How old are you? Up to a certain age, I think it's a good idea to tell a parent. The other parents need to know how their children are acting. But of course it means you are a tattler. I'd do it anyway. You need the support.
A lot of times these 'we all decided' things break apart, and at least one person comes to you and says they didn't want to go along with the one who called you.
If there is ONE of them who you think might not be really going along with the crowd, see if you can talk some day soon, maybe your mother can call hers (are you a girl?) and you can invite her out to town for an ice cream.
I think you handled the phone call very well. After all, 'what did I ever do to you?' is what it's all about. Hopefully by fall things will have changed.

As for self-confidence, you tell us - do you have a normal amount or would you say you cringe and cower at every little thing? We can help you with that if it's true. But for now, let's deal with being dumped.

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I tried calling the other 2 as well and they also told me they're not my friend anymore.

I'd appreciate it if you would answer my 2 questions.

I used to have the same problem. Problems like these just keep coming. Who needs them go find new friends they'll probably come back begging to forgive them just don't hold your breath. Remember if people can't see how great you are then it's their loss.

If they can't accept who you are then who needs them. You shouldn't have to beg to be in their clique, or be afraid to make new friend either.

Just stand for something (YOURSELF), and you won't fall for just any BS to protect yourself from being alone.

If you ignore them and ask other people if you can hang with them they will be jealous, they'll see what theyv'e lost and now there's only three of them so that's a problem for buses, partners etc one will come running back in no time.

Find new friends. Tell them you don't have time for their childish games. My sister and then my daughter both had friends like this. One week they would say 'you can't be my friend because you are friends with so and so. The next week THEY were exclusive friends with so and so leaving the other out in the cold even though they had told them not to be friends with so and so. Then they would go back to not being friends with so and so and telling their ex/new friends do not be friends with so and so. It was a vicious circle.

You could find much better friends, true friends are the ones who stick around, and they are never cruel like that. Try and meet new people, maybe talk to some people in your classes start up converstations, don't be worried about fitting in, just be kind to everyone and people will naturally want to be around you.

Real friends would not have been like this anyway. Friends do not become or stop being friends by telephone, the only point of calling you would be to hurt you, so it sounds like they were never friends to start with perhaps.

Just time to look at yourself and see about new friends