I'm 13 and I've been 'going out' with this lad for about 4 months now... He gets really worried if we're out and about together just in case we get caught... I was just wanting to clarify whether this is illegal or not...

Idk about your country,but in my country it's a little bit weird (you must confess) but it's legal :)

What matters is where you live and whether 'out' means sex. I don't know of any country where an 18 year old can have sex with a 13 year old and not go to jail, if reported by an adult.

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Originally Posted by Anchikii

Idk about your country,but in my country it's a little bit weird (you must confess) but it's legal :)

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You can't determine this, although it may be legal in your country, we don't know where the poster is, this is an international site. Although I doubt underage sex, or contemplation of it is legal where you are

You have to wonder what an 18 year old has in common or sees in a 13 year old (assuming naturally this is not a troll trolling). .

Dating isn't illegal. Dating without parental permission at 13 can result in charges of various forms of endangering a minor when the other person is 18+.

We don't know yet whether sex is involved.

Hopefully there would be a maturity level difference between the two. My guess is there's not, which is sad. The 13 year old's parents should be worried. The 18 year old's parents should be very worried.

The fact that he gets worried is telling. He knows what's up. Do your parents know and approve of this relationship? If not, he can get in trouble. I wonder what he sees in a 13 year old.

We're talking here about a relationship,not about sex. Sex is a choice,and yes,it would be illegal if they had sex,but a relationship isn't.

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Originally Posted by Anchikii

We're talking here about a relationship,not about sex. Sex is a choice,and yes,it would be illegal if they had sex,but a relationship isn't.

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Yes a relationship is okay but we are concerned about maturity levels and intentions. What do you think these two have in common given the huge age difference?

Plus an 18 year old should be focused on his future. College, job, family, making a life for himself, armed forces if he chooses, etc. I would get my sons mentally evaluated and treated with shock therapy if they pulled something like this.

If its without parental consent there are huge issues to face. Yes its illegal until your parents give permission. No wonder he is nervous. You are jail bait.

Do you see the differences between your 18 year old boyfriend, and a male 13 year old?

That is what the difference is. It is a huge age gap developmentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically.

Can you picture your 18 year old boyfriend hanging out with your school chums? That is another problem- you live in his world, and abandon your own, because that would also make him nervous and uncomfortable.

If you think that his motives aren't beyond what you are capable of understanding or accepting at age 13, think again about all your girlfriends, and ask them if they think he's interested in a sexual relationship. Ask any adult. Better yet- ask your parents or a trusted teacher.

Note I did not say you were having sex with him, only pointing out that a dating relationship with an 18 year old, is quite different in expectations than dating a 13 year old boy.

Think about why he is uncomfortable because it may be more than the legality of his interest in you. See if he doesn't have a history of dating much younger teenage girls, and look for signs that his breakups have all been about what 'they' have done to 'him', with him not taking responsibility.