Hi there,

Please help. My boyfriend is having problems maintaining an erection and I have taken this that he obviously doesn't find me attractive. We have never had problems like this and although I have been supportive to him about it, in my own head I feel insecure about it.

He says that if he masturbates then he doesn't have a problem - so is it the case that it must be that he doesn't find me physically attractive? I am not hugely experienced in this area - is there something I can do to help him - should I feel insecure about this?

Have you discussed this matter with him?

I have discussed it with him and he feels very conscious and upset about it. I don't want to add to his upset by asking my insecure questions. I have never experienced this before and start to wonder whether I could help in other ways?

How about consulting your GP together?

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Originally Posted by Krs

How about consulting your GP together?

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Yes that needs to be the next step I suppose, I will broach it with my partner when he is feeling less sensitive about this.

Thank you

He's probably just nervous, have you two ever been able to have sex normally.

Also how old is he? Has he had GF's before you?

For the next few times just try doing other things in bed other than penetration, I'm sure he's just so worried about performing that he's ruining it for himself. Once he is a bit more relaxed it should come naturally. But if this just all of the sudden happened after being able to have sex in the past, maybe consult a doctor.

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Originally Posted by Lowtax4eva

He's probably just nervous, have you two ever been able to have sex normally.

Also how old is he? Has he had GF's before you?

For the next few times just try doing other things in bed other than penetration, im sure he's just so worried about performing that he's ruining it for himself. Once he is a bit more relaxed it should come naturally. But if this just all of the sudden happened after being able to have sex in the past, maybe consult a doctor.

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Yes we have been able to have sex normally - he's 35 and has had a few girlfriends, most long term. I know that his last girlfriend was 2 1/2 years ago and that he 'loved' her dearly but she lived in Germany and they still keep in contact. I don't know whether this is why I feel so insecure about it all as I know that he thought she was amazing in the bedroom.

That's wrong of him to tell you that he thought she was amazing, you're his g.f now and you should be top priorty!! Have you had many b.f's? Have you had lot's of sex before? If your always having sex in the same position try different positions, Experiment with each other? Try to be really sexy give him pleasure that he can't resit?If that doest work speak to him and tell him to go to the GP XxXxXxX Love jessica XxXX

Thanks Jessica, your reply is v. helpful. I haven't had many boyfriends and never had lots of sex, so am inexperienced I suppose and although this hasn't been an issue with my boyfriend to date - I am obviously now thinking this is the case.

Do you know of any sites to get some hints and tips?? Thanks v. much xx

Chic to be fair, It's a good thing that you haven't been with many blokes, That's what men like? Have a tlk with your b.f today, And the only reason your b.f can get an erection frm masturbating is probley because he is thinking about dirty little slappas you no what I mean, Which I think is wrng bt that's men? I don't no any websites irl Have a look for u, But take yourself out shopping get some kinky under wear, And when you get home put it on and put one of his shirts or t-shirts on pt your scent on it, And just undress yourself, Make him want u? And if that don't work def take him 2 GP or tell him straight what your feeling and what you think? Don't be scared chic?XxXX