Ok so a few months ago my boyfriend and I of two years broke up because he was unfaithful. So from that point on I haven't dated or even been touched by another guy. Finally I meet someone and we became best friends we shared secrets with one another that neither of us have ever told other people. He started visiting me at my new apartment we would talk and he would stay the night and we would cuddle in each others' arms and just sleep which felt nice because I haven't been with any one since the breakup. One day we actually had sex and it was amazing I woke up the next morning and he was still there we just laid there and talked until I had to leave for work. Two weeks later he started acting differently he ignored my calls was highly pissed off at me and didn't want to have anything to do with me. So one day he happened to call me and tell me why he was so mad. And the reason why was because I had given him an STD. now our friendship we had is ruined I can't even look at him more or less smile in his presence. I'm hurt because I feel like I lost a friend and I know that things will never be the same between us. More or less I'm even more hurt because my boyfriend of two years managed to screw me over once again even months after our breakup. I see this guy almost everyday and when I'm around him I feel so sad and depressed. I'm not too bummed about the std because that I can take care of but it's the broken friendship that I can't stand the most. And I can't go to anyone to talk to them. I don't know what to do here. Today he saw me and told me to smile. And I just couldn't. Not because I didn't want to but my body wouldn't let me smile I was spaced out at work and angry for no reason. I don't know I just feel so alone and lost.

First, Have you been to the doctors to be tested and, if you are infected, treated?

Second, give time for tempers to cool down. If the friendship was growing as well as you thought, then it can recover, but it will take time.

I will admit to being concerned about his reaction. Out of all of the choices available, he chose to get angry and shut you out instead of talking to you. He could have asked why you didn't tell him or been concerned about your health.

Frankly, he may have already been infected but didn't notice until after having sex with you. Some STDs like Chlamydia can go for weeks without symptoms IF there are symptoms.

This is for an example:
STD Facts - Chlamydia

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What are the symptoms of chlamydia?

Chlamydia is known as a ‘silent’ infection because most infected people have no symptoms. If symptoms do occur, they may not appear until several weeks after exposure. Even when it causes no symptoms, chlamydia can damage a woman’s reproductive organs.

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If you haven't already, get tested. Get treated if you are infected. Go about your life and let things calm down. Find your smile.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

First, Have you been to the doctors to be tested and, if you are infected, treated?

Second, give time for tempers to cool down. If the friendship was growing as well as you thought, then it can recover, but it will take time.

I will admit to being concerned about his reaction. Out of all of the choices available, he chose to get angry and shut you out instead of talking to you. He could have asked why you didn't tell him or been concerned about your health.

Frankly, he may have already been infected but didn't notice until after having sex with you. Some STDs like Chlamydia can go for weeks without symptoms IF there are symptoms.

This is for an example:
STD Facts - Chlamydia


If you haven't already, get tested. Get treated if you are infected. Go about your life and let things calm down. Find your smile.

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Yes I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get checked. He said that he hasn't had sex in months after his breakup and after we mess around he started having problems. I'm a really caring person and respectful as well had I known I wouldn't even let him touch me because quite frankly I feel dirty and violated. And I wouldn't willingly do it to him. I have had no symptoms of catching anything and to say the least my last pap was normal. I don't know I just feel like there's a darkness lingering over me now.

It can take months to years for an std to show up. Think this guy is over reacting and wanting to pin blame on any one other than himself.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

It can take months to years for an std to show up. Think this guy is over reacting and wanting to pin blame on any one other than himself.

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Yea this could be the case but I guess we won't know until after tomorrow. It just seems a bit conveinant timing wise he could be exaggerating I don't know all I know is insist want things to be settled and to get my friend back. He told me the only reason why he said something was because "he didn't want me walking around like that"

Pap smears are not a reliable test for STDs and should not be used for that purpose.

I am concerned about your other thread, your treatment of your dogs, yourself description of yourself as a "caring person" - "but it's pissing me off I get so flustered and frustrated sometime I just want to hurt them," your downright cruelty toward helpless animals.

I think you need to talk to someone about several areas of your life. You are spinning out of control.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Pap smears are not a reliable test for STDs and should not be used for that purpose.

I am concerned about your other thread, your treatment of your dogs, your self description of yourself as a "caring person" - "but it's pissing me off I get so flustered and frustrated sometime I just want to hurt them," your downright cruelty toward helpless animals.

I think you need to talk to someone about several areas of your life. You are spinning out of control.

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I don't hurt them at all I usually just crate her and walk away to cool down. She's extremely destructive she destroyed all my furniture eliminates in the house after an hour long walk pick fights with my other dog. She barks all the time I have invested do much time and money into her and it's frustrating. The days when she bahaves she amazing but others it make me want to tear my hair out. But this thread is not about the dogs I would like to stick to this topic. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Pap smears are not a reliable test for STDs and should not be used for that purpose.

I am concerned about your other thread, your treatment of your dogs, your self description of yourself as a "caring person" - "but it's pissing me off I get so flustered and frustrated sometime I just want to hurt them," your downright cruelty toward helpless animals.

I think you need to talk to someone about several areas of your life. You are spinning out of control.

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By the way I would never do anything to hurt them I obviously care that's why I'm seeking help and about me spinning out of control my life is pretty good except for those two things. I have a new place an awesome job in which I made manager recently I volunteer and am on the deans list at university not to mention internship abroad in the summer. I would say most aspects of my life are pretty set. This is the first time I have dealt with something like this you can't blame me for expressing my feelings and seeking help now can you?

I was also on the Dean's list. That didn't make me a good person. It meant I made good grades. Likewise with being well employed.

I believe your problems are intertwined - dogs and friend - so please don't attempt to tell me how to answer you.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I was also on the Dean's list. That didn't make me a good person. It meant I made good grades. Likewise with being well employed.

I believe your problems are intertwined - dogs and friend - so please don't attempt to tell me how to answer you.

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I'm not intertwining any problem it seems that you are the one that is mixing the two issues at hand not me. My point was not to show how good of a person I am it's how hard I work for things I care about. I don't idolize myself as much as OTHERS. Besides no one made you respond or comment so why get frustrated when I tell you to answer the question and not waste time judging which you can keep your thoughts about me to yourself if it has nothing to do with advice for the post I can care less

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

First, Have you been to the doctors to be tested and, if you are infected, treated?
If you haven't already, get tested. Get treated if you are infected. Go about your life and let things calm down. Find your smile.

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I went to the docs earlier this morning got tested they checked my blood and everything just like my last pap everything was normal. I explained to him what happened and he said is seems to him he's the carrier and not me and to come back in a week for a follow up. So relieved now to break the news to him. Seems like he has to find another scapegoat.

"I went to the docs earlier this morning got tested they checked my blood and everything just like my last pap everything was normal. I explained to him what happened and he said is seems to him he's the carrier and not me and to come back in a week for a follow up. So relieved now to break the news to him. Seems like he has to find another scapegoat."


The Doctor can tell just like that who is the carrier and who is not? And the pap smear results are already back?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

"I went to the docs earlier this morning got tested they checked my blood and everything just like my last pap everything was normal. I explained to him what happened and he said is seems to him he's the carrier and not me and to come back in a week for a follow up. So relieved now to break the news to him. Seems like he has to find another scapegoat."


The Doctor can tell just like that who is the carrier and who is not? And the pap smear results are already back?

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I got my blood done three days ago went back today Got my results and everything was normal I got blood work not a pal I was comparing my blood results to my lab results I mentioned previously in this post. By carrier I mean that I am not infected. If I was my results would have came back positive given the fact that he's the first guy I've been with in months so with that being said I couldn't have given him anything because there aren't any signs of me having an std. I got tested for many things I have to wait for a few more resukts but by the way things look I'm OK. However he wants me to follow up with him within a week just in case he passed something to me.

Autocorrect I meant to say mentioned not filmed. That's kind of gross:)