Ask Me Help Desk

Alone

I'm 16 and gay. I've never had a boyfriend but I really want one. I've had my heart broken by guys who claim to be straight and by gay guys who just want to have sex. I just want a nice relationship where I can be myself and no one will use me or judge me

Why don't you just get to know a guy before you have sex. You don't need to date just be friends and get to know him and let hi get to know you. What progresses will happen in due time.

Don't rush it. Trust me you would rather be single than in a bad relationship. It will happen - just let it happen naturally. It took me forever to find the partner of my dreams.

One other thing and I know you won't listen to me because all of us gay guys do this. Stay away from straight guys because you will always get your feelings bashed in. They are straight for a reason. But like I said all gay guys fall in love with straight guys.

Gay teens often are lonely unless they go to a huge high school. I have a young gay friend who was very lonely (although every cute girl in his class seemed to glom onto him, so he had plenty of friends). As soon as he got out into the world he met plenty of gay guys.
I know the word 'wait' isn't a word anyone wants to hear about anything. What worries me is the way you say 'guys who CLAIM to be straight.' Please heed Oliver's last paragraph!

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Gay teens often are lonely unless they go to a huge high school. I have a young gay friend who was very lonely (although every cute girl in his class seemed to glom onto him, so he had plenty of friends). As soon as he got out into the world he met plenty of gay guys.
I know the word 'wait' isn't a word anyone wants to hear about anything. What worries me is the way you say 'guys who CLAIM to be straight.' Please heed Oliver's last paragraph!

When I said guys who claim to be straight I was talking about guys who say they are straight but flirt with you and do things with you only another gay guy would do but are claiming they are straight

Quote:

Originally Posted by theblackj12

When I said guys who claim to be straight I was talking about guys who say they are straight but flirt with you and do things with you only another gay guy would do but are claiming they are straight

Maybe you are being to hopeful over this wanting someone that you get high hopes and follow your feelings to soon. That's looking for love in all the wrong places and we all do that, gay, or straight. This only leads to disappointment and frustration. You are much to young to invest heart and soul into anyone. So stop looking for love and enjoy good people around you.

And what is this crazy notion about straight guys doing what a gay guy would do? Flirting means nothing, gay or straight, and some just flirt or seem to flirt, gay or straight. Its how you handle the flirting that matters, so don't get carried away by those that flirt, gay, or straight.

Nothing wrong with being alone if you have good friends and fun activities. Gay or straight.

I remember a gay guy at a job who flirted with me and said things like 'Joy a woman like you could turn me around.' He didn't mean one word of it and we all knew it. I think deep down he was a little wistful about an older nesting type woman around the house while he went out and explored the world, who knows - who wouldn't want a grandma with milk and cookies waiting. You have to sort out the wheat from the chaff, the jokes from the serious. People flirt because it's fun, has a bit of power in it if it works, and it happens between people of both sexes of all ages.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

I remember a gay guy at a job who flirted with me and said things like 'Joy a woman like you could turn me around.' He didn't mean one word of it and we all knew it. I think deep down he was a little wistful about an older nesting type woman around the house while he went out and explored the world, who knows - who wouldn't want a grandma with milk and cookies waiting. You have to sort out the wheat from the chaff, the jokes from the serious. People flirt because it's fun, has a bit of power in it if it works, and it happens between people of both sexes of all ages.

It was more than just flirting like we did something's that a straight guy wouldn't do with another guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by theblackj12

It was more than just flirting like we did somethings that a straight guy wouldn't do with another guy

some straights like ''experimenting'' and think that getting with a gay for a minute is the simple way to quench their curiousity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theblackj12

It was more than just flirting like we did somethings that a straight guy wouldn't do with another guy

Based on that sentence I don't see someone looking for a relationship. Or maybe better said a relationship is not your number one goal. I am not judging but rather enlightening because when you engage in sex at any level before a relationship is developed it cheapens what you have with that person. But as you get older you will understand 20 minutes of pleasure does not and will never equal a lifetime of happiness.

Oliver, a greenie - and wow! Should be written on the wall of every high school.

Amazing, truly amazing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Based on that sentence I don't see someone looking for a relationship. Or maybe better said a relationship is not your number one goal. I am not judging but rather enlightening because when you engage in sex at any level before a relationship is developed it cheapens what you have with that person. But as you get older you will understand 20 minutes of
pleasure does not and will never equal a lifetime of happiness.

Well said Oliver

Thank you both. Just trying to help out someone in the club.

We all try to help out. Sometimes one of us says something worth remembering, life changing.

You did it!