Hi,

I've been dating my fiancé for 1 year and 3 months. We've been engaged 3 months. She is 24 and I'm 28. My fiancé has always had a bit of an anger, temper, depressive nature to her since I've known her, but not all the time. I never thought much of it. I though I could "fix" the occasional anger, temper, and depressive states with love and a good relationship. Well apparently I was wrong. Things lately have become much worse. I feel our relationship sliding and am not sure what to do. She is constantly angry at the world for no reason, depressed, and sleep deprived because of her 3rd shift schedule... It's taking a lot out of me to continue such a hard relationship, but I have continued on because I love this woman. I've tried talking to her about it, but she doesn't ever say much in response. I've suggested going together to get some professional help, but not much of a response on that either... I simply don't know what to do! I love this woman, but my tension and sanity are growing daily... What should we do? Do I stick with her even if I'm not happy, because I believe there is a happier side to her just around the corner? SO LOST!

If your fiancé loves you then she should take the time to realise how important this relationship is to you. I know from personal experience that relationships don't last if its only one of you trying. Try weighing up the good and no so good of your relationship and see what you come up with. Be kind to yourself.

Counseling would be an excellent idea, as there seems to be a lack of communications here. She has issues your finding difficult to deal with and your right you can't fix things for her. If she won't seek help I really can't see what you can do, except take care of yourself. Maybe she needs to slow down and rest up.

I think you should really stress that she needs professional help. I am sort of going through some problems, but the bottom line is - life is too short to be miserable. If she doesn't want to get help, please don't marry her thinking that things will get better because they won't. You need to think about yourself also because you deserve to be happy.

We had a long talk today... She admits that she's been really bummed, stressed, and tired... She apologized somewhat and said she's sorry things have been rough... She said she wants me in her life, wants to marry me... I told her as long as we can work together to get through hard times and get some more positive things back in her life, we can and will work... She agreed to this thought... I think things are headed in the correct direction again... Tomorrow we are planning on spending some time together, might go bowling... Thanks for the advice... If things get bad again, I'll suggest "professional" help... I think we both realized what was at stake before it got to the point of ending our relationship...

I sure hope all works well!

Wow. That is heavy. Hang in there. And PLEASE don't get married until you're sure.

Work through this stuff NOW.

I dated a woman who's depression overwhelmed
Her and I thought I could cure it. I could always solve any problem that ever came my way before after all!!

Well, I couldn't. There's no hero points in life. Just opportunities to do the right thing or the wrong thing for our souls.

My thoughts go out to you.
Be strong.
Be honest.
Be single until you're ready