Ask Me Help Desk - I begged my ex to come back, now what ?

So, me and my girlfriend are 16 now (dont go on the age, we 2 had a real relationship and we are quite mature). We were together for 1 year and 3 months.

Recently, she broke up, saying she can't handle me because I'm too obsessed with her and that every decision I make in life depends upon her (which was true) actually. The only thing I did in my life was trying to impress her so I can have her for life. I started acting clingy, asking her to spend more and more time with me, texting her and stuff.

After the break up, for more then a month, I begged her, called her, cried on the phone and every other thing I shouldn't have but she didn't budge on her decision. Now since the last month, we just talk normally on the phone, laugh sometimes. She has said that she has now lost interest in me and has moved on (this may be possible, but maybe she is even lying). Through all this, I haven't been able to move on. I always decide to, but then I go back to the same thing- depression.

How do I make up for the begging I did and make her love me again (if she really lost interest)? Even though I'm 16, I'm super convinced that she is the one for me. I love her!! Now because of her 10th grade, she is like, all I'm going to do is study, nothing else. But she said that if something is worth breaking the promise I will.

So what to do?

I wrote a LONG reply and it disappeared, saying 'question no longer available!' If this is what happens every time a mobile goes to a category, GRRR!

Anyway, age does matter. She is a typical teen not ready for this intensity (most of us never would be), and you need to take a year or two to figure out why you obsess so much. You are NOT going to get her back. Begging wasn't the problem; the whole relationship was. You don't 'impress' someone with obsession, nor do you ever 'have someone for life.' We don't have anyone for life unless that person chooses to stay with us for life. You need time to grow into an adult and realize the huge difference.

Here's the Good: Many people on here are not honest about what caused the breakup. We have to ask questions to finally get to the root cause. You recognize what you did and you were able to verbally express it very well. That is huge because hopefully you won't make the same mistakes in the future.

Here's the Bad: Are you kidding me? Clingy and obsessed isn't attractive to anyone. It will always ruin a relationship.There is probably nothing you can do to repair the damage.

In the future when you have a relationship you can't make that person your whole life. You need your own friends and your own activities. The person I live with I love more than I've loved anyone my entire life. But if I spent all my time with that person I would go insane. Having my own friends and activities keeps the relationship healthy.

Clingy and obsessed ruins a relationship. Clingy, obsessed and begging confirms breaking up was the right choice. The more you act obsessed and bet the further away you are driving her.

She's tired of you acting like a weenie and being so obsessed and clingy. Nobody likes that. So the chances are that it's over and you will just need to get used to that fact. At 16, you still have plenty of time ahead of you to find someone else... just don't glue yourself to them this time.

You leave her alone - she is looking for a manly man (or a manly teen). That does not appear to be you at this stage of your life.

You start by stating how mature you are, and then you go on to explain how immature you are. "So, me and my girlfriend are 16 now (dont go on the age, we 2 had a real relationship and we are quite mature) . we were together for 1 year and 3 months...recently, she broke up, saying she can't handle me cz im too obsessed with her and that every decision i make in life depends upon her (which was true) actually , the only thing i did in my life was trying to impress her so i can have her for life"

You need to rethink impressing her so you can "have her for life." Love is not ownership.

Quote:

Originally posted by JudyKayTee You leave her alone - she is looking for a manly man (or a manly teen). That does not appear to be you at this stage of your life.

You start by stating how mature you are, and then you go on to explain how immature you are. "So, me and my girlfriend are 16 now (dont go on the age, we 2 had a real relationship and we are quite mature) . we were together for 1 year and 3 months...recently, she broke up, saying she can't handle me cz im too obsessed with her and that every decision i make in life depends upon her (which was true) actually , the only thing i did in my life was trying to impress her so i can have her for life"

You need to rethink impressing her so you can "have her for life." Love is not ownership.

I didn't want to state how mature I was, I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell u that we both are not exactly childish n she even admitted she wanted to b with me forever, but I drove her away, I'm sorry u misunderstood

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Here's the Good: Many people on here are not honest about what caused the breakup. We have to ask questions to finally get to the root cause. You recognize what you did and you were able to verbally express it very well. That is huge because hopefully you won't make the same mistakes in the future.

Here's the Bad: Are you kidding me? Clingy and obsessed isn't attractive to anyone. It will always ruin a relationship.There is probably nothing you can do to repair the damage.

In the future when you have a relationship you can't make that person your whole life. You need your own friends and your own activities. The person I live with I love more than I've loved anyone my entire life. But if I spent all my time with that person I would go insane. Having my own friends and activities keeps the relationship healthy.

Thanks

There is no forever my young friend not in life or love. Everything changes and the mature person adjusts and keeps on living. You can make good adjustments without giving up your dignity, or self respect, and accept life on its own terms simply because you realize you can't control what others feel, say, or do, or the reasons behind their words and actions.

She dumped you so leave her alone and get control of your own life and feelings. That's you best adjustment at this time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Here's the Good: Many people on here are not honest about what caused the breakup. We have to ask questions to finally get to the root cause. You recognize what you did and you were able to verbally express it very well. That is huge because hopefully you won't make the same mistakes in the future.

Here's the Bad: Are you kidding me? Clingy and obsessed isn't attractive to anyone. It will always ruin a relationship.There is probably nothing you can do to repair the damage.

In the future when you have a relationship you can't make that person your whole life. You need your own friends and your own activities. The person I live with I love more than I've loved anyone my entire life. But if I spent all my time with that person I would go insane. Having my own friends and activities keeps the relationship healthy.

Thanks

A few other things:

We have all suffered through a breakup and we have all survived. You will as well. And if I had a nickel for every time I did something that screwed up a relationship, I would have $537.85. That's a lot of nickles!

Just remember needy, clingy, and obsessed will never be attractive to anyone.

Maturity also involves full words, not text speak.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

There is no forever my young friend not in life or love. Everything changes and the mature person adjusts and keeps on living. You can make good adjustments without giving up your dignity, or self respect, and accept life on its own terms simply because you realize you can't control what others feel, say, or do, or the reasons behind their words and actions.

She dumped you so leave her alone and get control of your own life and feelings. That's you best adjustment at this time.

Thanks a Lot :)