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-   -   Why am I mean to my boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=758417)

  • Jul 16, 2013, 03:18 AM
    101rar
    Why am I mean to my boyfriend?
    I don't really see it but he tells me I am mean to him so much and I just don't know how to stop. He is sensitive but says I yell and talk to him rudly and it is kind of hard for me to see it. I don't know what to do and I really don't want to lose him. I love him so much and he isn't that happy anymore. It's been almost a year and I don't want it to end now. Please help!
  • Jul 16, 2013, 04:11 AM
    odinn7
    Please help... so what can we do? We're not there to see how you treat him so what are you hoping for? I would say, treat him better and stop yelling at him. It seems simple. If he says you're doing it, then don't do it.
  • Jul 16, 2013, 06:29 AM
    N0help4u
    Maybe tell him to randOmly catch you on cam without you knowing so that you can go over it and he can point it out to you.
  • Jul 16, 2013, 06:36 AM
    Wondergirl
    Give him a code word ("pancakes" or "Snuffleupagus" or "Titanic") to say to you whenever he thinks you are being mean or rude.
  • Jul 16, 2013, 06:42 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Or perhaps you are not being rude, he is just wanting to break up and is trying to blame you
  • Jul 16, 2013, 06:51 PM
    donnasley
    Do you think you are mean or rude? Do others tell you that too? Maybe its just him and he wants to put you down...
  • Jul 18, 2013, 10:20 PM
    mirandalynn1232
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Maybe tell him to randOmly catch you on cam without you knowing so that you can go over it and he can point it out to you.


    Agreed
  • Jul 18, 2013, 10:27 PM
    Enigma1999
    Or maybe he is overly sensitive.
  • Jul 19, 2013, 05:29 AM
    Jake2008
    At least he's telling you what he thinks, and how he feels, about your behavior toward him.

    That is a good start.

    Now to keep going. Try to have an honest sit-down discussion with him, and ask for examples, or specifics of what you are doing that upsets him, because you just don't see it as you've said.

    Try not to assume that you are doing anything wrong, because if it isn't obvious to you, maybe he is overly sensitive and/or looking for a way out, by finding fault with you to justify ending the relationship.

    If he can't spend the time to talk, and explain, by example, what you are doing wrong, or, he actually can't specifically say 'this' or 'that' to paint a picture of a situation, or a conversation where he's felt unfairly judged/treated etc. then consider that you may be not doing what he says you are.

    Don't be so quick to take 100% of the responsibility for him feeling the way he does, or take 100% of the responsibility for being the cause of it.

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