In January I was reading through my boyfriends texts to find out that on one drunken night a girl who he called his “white elephant” (aka the girl that got away) kissed him. When I confronted him about this he was mad I went through his phone. He said that it was a drunken mistake and it would never happen again. I told him I would forgive him but to NEVER talk to her again. In my opinion, if she didn’t respect his 3-year relationship with me then she should not be in his life. He agreed and promised he would not. It has been a hard year and this past week I was just feeling like something was up in my gut. He had just gone on a boys weekend and I had a weird feeling. I looked at his phone and discovered she and him had drunk flirted. The texts included him calling her babe, asking if he can “relax her” and making plans to go wine tasting (general plans but not date decided and no follow up).

I love him but how do I approach this? Am I in the wrong for not trusting him/how should I trust him? I guess I am just scared that our relationship will be over and he will be totally fine without me. I have not taken any action yet but advice would be great.

Thank you!

Obviously he isn't content being in a monogamous relationship. You need to decide can you live with a guy that sneaks to see this other girl or do you walk away from the relationship knowing you can not change him?
Looking through his phone is not the answer, but I know what you mean about those gut feelings and you want to have evidence before accusing him.

Why are you reading through is texts? He may be cheating, but you invaded his privacy. I don't see a healthy relationship here.