I have never liked the boyfriend of my sister. I have noticed that he is very selfish and never does anything nice for her.
I asked him a question the other day: "Do you believe in a life after death? "
And he said: "Of course. Well. I think I have to, if not we would be killing eachother, stealing and raping etc."
And I said: "What do you mean by that?"
And he said: "Well, let's say I got told that there was no life after death, by somebody who really knew for sure. Then I would stop working, I would steal some money and I would do whatever I wanted to. If somebody got in my way I would not hesitate to kill them"
And I asked: "But don't you have a concience, people get hurt. "
And he said: "Well, I would get rid of it. "

I personally have never strongly believed in life after death, but it would never occur to me to kill somebody, steal, or be less of a person just because we may become dust and nobody would judge us. I think people should have the same opportunities on the planet. It has never crossed my mind to think like that. I thought he would say: Of course, if not I would be depressed or see no point in life or something.

Is this a matter of religion, culture or could he have some disturbances? If that's how his mind works no wonder my parents are worried about him marrying my sister.

It sounds like he simply answered your question.

Now, why are your parents worried about him marrying your sister?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It sounds like he simply answered your question.

Now, why are your parents worried about him marrying your sister?

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He seems to care too much about the thickness of the wallet of my dad.

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Originally Posted by WkLm

He seems to care too much about the thickness of the wallet of my dad.

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In what way? Please give examples.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

In what way? Please give examples.

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He has always been after fast money, at least from what I have understood when he talks about what he has done in life. His dream is to become rich without lifting a finger. His subject of convirsation around friends and family has been people with money. He speculates about the income of friends of our family. He can say " I wonder how much the father of your friend makes a year and how he can keep the summer house". Our dad has always been the one inviting all of us for dinner, and he has nvited my sister out for dinner... maybe once. Of course it could be that he is broke.He tries to live a life style that does not fit his budget. I know where he grew up, and under what conditions. My parents have mentioned all of that to me. We don't know of course. It could be that he tries to impress our dad.

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Originally Posted by WkLm

He has always been after fast money, at least from what I have understood when he talks about what he has done in life. His dream is to become rich without lifting a finger. His subject of convirsation around friends and family has been people with money. He speculates about the income of friends of our family. He can say " I wonder how much the father of your friend makes a year and how he can keep the summer house". Our dad has always been the one inviting all of us for dinner, and he has nvited my sister out for dinner...maybe once. Of course it could be that he is broke.He tries to live a life style that does not fit his budget. I know where he grew up, and under what conditions. My parents have mentioned all of that to me. We dont know of course. It could be that he tries to impress our dad.

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Isn't it everyone's dream to get rich without having to work for the money? If not, lotteries wouldn't do as well as they do. Wanting to have money so that you don't have to worry about how you're going to survive, is not a sign of mental illness.

Sounds like he simply wants a better life for himself, and he's trying to figure out how to make the money he needs to live comfortably, and without stress. That's a dream I believe the majority of people have.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Isn't it everyone's dream to get rich without having to work for the money? If not, lotteries wouldn't do as well as they do. Wanting to have money so that you don't have to worry about how you're going to survive, is not a sign of mental illness.

Sounds like he simply wants a better life for himself, and he's trying to figure out how to make the money he needs to live comfortably, and without stress. That's a dream I believe the majority of people have.

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I agree. To be rich is nothing bad. Nothing bad in wanting it neither. Maybe your are right. What I see is how he treats my sister. I have noticed. He doesn't even bother to take her home at night and she tells me she walked. She is there for him always and I think she doesn't get the respect that she deserves. When he gave me that answer it worried me. Maybe that is why he does so little for her, because it is not a natural "instinct" for him to be nice. Maybe he tries to be nice only because it is expected and because God will judge him one day. I know people not religious at all who do things for others because they would like somebody to give them a hand in the same situation, or because they care for the person in trouble and doesn't like to see them sad.This guy did not even drive my sister home from the super market and left her with all the bags in the streets, later she cooked for him and he did not show up until very late. I have seen and observed things I don't like, and him answering the question so quickly, without even thinking made me doubt how pure hearted this guy is.

How old is your sister?

The wedding date has been set?

No its not a psychopath. Many religious scholars have discussed the morality of man if there were no God. If he is selfish, self-centered, egotistical, then he is more of a narcissist.
I am sure your dad can handle his money without worrying about some gold digger son-in-law. If he doesn't see it now he will eventually and he will guard his money. I doubt he will allow access to his money and if he steals it somehow, you have to cross that bridge when it comes.

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Originally Posted by WkLm

I agree. To be rich is nothing bad. Nothing bad in wanting it neither. Maybe your are right. What I see is how he treats my sister. I have noticed. He doesnt even bother to take her home at night and she tells me she walked. She is there for him always and I think she doesnt get the respect that she deserves. When he gave me that answer it worried me. Maybe that is why he does so little for her, because it is not a natural "instinct" for him to be nice. Maybe he tries to be nice only because it is expected and because God will judge him one day. I know people not religious at all who do things for others because they would like somebody to give them a hand in the same situation, or because they care for the person in trouble and doesnt like to see them sad.This guy did not even drive my sister home from the super market and left her with all the bags in the streets, later she cooked for him and he did not show up until very late. I have seen and observed things I dont like, and him answering the question so quickly, without even thinking made me doubt how pure hearted this guy is.

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He's a jerk, based on what you've posted. But a psychopath? That's not a diagnosis we can give online. There are many factors involved in reaching that sort of diagnosis.

Bottom line, you don't like him, so you're telling us the worst about him. Is he a nice guy, based on what you wrote? No. Is he mentally ill? That's something only a licensed psychiatrist can ascertain. We can't make a diagnosis based only on your perception of him.