Hi. I started a new job three weeks ago. It's very different being the 52 year old among several 25 year olds. I've always gotten along well with my co-workers and everyone seems to have accepted me except one person who I'll call Jamie. Jamie is very valuable to the company. But she is more or less training me and I don't think she appreciates it. Jamie describes the owner's mom, who also works there, and who I'll refer to as Darla, as being passive-aggressive with her. Not sure if she's projecting her frustration onto me, but Jamie is in turn being passive-aggressive with me. We work together on Saturdays for special events and she constantly criticizes and micromanages everything I do and I mean everything. It's extremely distracting and I feel myself constantly on guard and making even more mistakes than I did when I first started. To the best of my knowledge she's not my superior but she certainly acts as though she is. I definitely need to say something but I have no idea what to say to her. I'm low man on the pole and I don't want to rock the boat. If it weren't for her, and if everyone would be patient with me, I think I might like the job once I feel comfortable. But that's never going to happen if this continues. What should I do?

3 weeks is a relatively short time to determine if you like a job or not. Learn all you can about the tasks associated with the job.
Don't try to psychoanalyze the staff. If she is not your supervisor but is a key employee, keep trying to learn as much as you can, and you may not have as much involvement with her when you have become fully trained.
Maybe it would be helpful if we knew what type of work is being done at this facility. Also, it is possible that she resents being assigned even temporary supervisory duties and perhaps feels that she is not adequately compensated to be performing training of other employees.
If you need the job, tough it out a little longer. Adage used to be--don't make judgments about a job for six months.

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Originally Posted by smearcase

3 weeks is a relatively short time to determine if you like a job or not. Learn all you can about the tasks associated with the job.
Don't try to psychoanalyze the staff. If she is not your supervisor but is a key employee, keep trying to learn as much as you can, and you may not have as much involvement with her when you have become fully trained.
Maybe it would be helpful if we knew what type of work is being done at this facility. Also, it is possible that she resents being assigned even temporary supervisory duties and perhaps feels that she is not adequately compensated to be performing training of other employees.
If you need the job, tough it out a little longer. Old adage used to be--don't make judgments about a job for six months.

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It's a gymnastics facility. And I don't think she's really been assigned the responsibility of training me. No one has really. The owner was there to train me for a day and a half and is now rarely there. When I have questions I can either call her, which I don't like to do because she's pregnant and busy with a two year old child, or I can ask Jamie. Jamie's attitude is basically that she has no tolerance for imperfection and mistakes. I make mistakes -- I'm learning. And it's unbelievably slow right now. Most of the time I have nothing to do. So learning is difficult too because I'm not doing the same things over and over repeatedly which is the way you learn. The Saturdays are the worst though. That's when it's a skeleton crew and Jamie goes from Jeckle to Hyde. I hate being around her because she treats me like I'm beneath her and it's very degrading but yet I need her if I have questions. I hope that helps clarify a little.

If there are others why not call or ask the others at work, or if you can call the owner, why not call them. The issue here is, you do YOUR job, it does not matter if she likes you or not, Often we work with people who may hate us, that is real life and work. We learn just to do our jobs

Just to clear something up: on June 10 you were thinking of quitting a job. I take it this is a new job, so it's been 18 days if you started this job June 11?

I'd say tough out her attitude. It's workplace bootcamp, and most new jobs are full of this sort of thing. She's probably going home saying she's doing the work of two people, or of supervisor, and not getting paid enough. More than 2 people, with the owner not there. She's probably ready to quit. Consider yourself the lion cub and she's mom, roaring at you and carrying you around by the neck, not exactly lovingly. It's the way jobs go.

Thank you Chuck for your opinion. Joy, she's not ready to quit. But at any rate thanks.