I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, and have a loving relationship, we are due to get married next year also we are very good together, however she has only met my best friend a couple of times.. which I have asked him to be my best man at the wedding, my best friend is a singer/performer at small pubs/clubs at weekends and I decided to take my fiancé along to watch his show, also my best friend has a girlfriend and her and the family were also at the show watching him, but anyway so I took my fince along to watch and we sat down opposite each other at a table with a drink and the show began, from the get go it was clear she was looking way too hard at him after 20mins or so it was like I wasn't even in the same room as her, she was clearly giving my best friend the eye and looking way too hard, I got upset maybe overreacted and walked out the pub on her, rang a taxi and went straight home.. over the last few days since this I have felt really sad and upset, and it got to the point were we have had a big argument over it and she admitted that she fancied him, which has kind of broke my heart, she says she loves me but I can't get it out of my head what's happened.. part of me wants to try to ignore it and part of me says to end it, I'm really confussed on what to do, any advice would be welcome. Thank you

Talk about over reacting! You really have to pick your battles, else you'll drive a wedge into your relationship that will end it.

I know that if I am seeing a live performer, and I've seen the Stones three times, I don't take my eyes of Mick Jagger. (I know I know... not everybody's cuppa), but, I couldn't care less during the show if my husband stripped naked and ran around the venue singing an Elvis tune.

Really, the night in question, was not about you. You were looking for something because you are insecure and unreasonably jealous- of nothing!

You trust your fiancé, and I presume you trust your best man. So what that she fancies him- that could mean she likes his stage presence, or his hair, or that he sings songs that she likes. It does not mean that she wants him over you, or likes him more than she loves you.

Meaningless.

You owe her an apology. Smarten up.

What Jake said!
You will never survive the long years of marriage with this attitude.
You have never felt drawn to a charming, gorgeous woman, realizing that it's not ever going to happen and you don't even want it to happen - it's just a brief moment of fun, like a teenage crush?
I think you should postpone marriage until you can examine yourself.

I wouldn't be bothered at all if it was some famous person or a random guy, but she fancies my closest friend, its kind of difficult.

She fancies, or she fancied?
How long did it last past that evening?

I was once somewhere with my then husband, and his best friend (also married) was singing and playing the guitar, and after one particular song I blurted out 'Jerry I love you!' to my own embarrassment, and the embarrassment of everyone else. I wasn't in love, nor would I say I even loved him - it was just admiration for his voice and skill. Is that not OK? She loves YOU for countless other and more important characteristics. Why cut off your nose to spite your face? If you don't want to lose her, force yourself to get over it. You could end up a very lonely guy, not just with her, but with everyone. Jealousy like this is petty and selfish and juvenile. Be glad that your best friend is so charming.

What Jake said - now that I've pulled myself together.

So your fiancé had eyes for someone else and your response was to storm off and leave her in the club, alone, with that "someone else"? I think you over reacted. On the other hand, if she "fancies" someone more than she "fancies" you, time to get out now - or if jealousy is going to rule your life, likewise, time to get out.

Me? Sam Elliott. I know, have you seen him lately? Likewise - husand running around naked playing banjo and singing blue grass and I'd be watching Sam Elliott just sit there.

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Originally Posted by stokelad87

I wouldnt be bothered at all if it was some famous person or a random guy, but she fancies my closest friend, its kinda difficult.

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To her, he is a random guy. "...however she has only met my best friend a couple of times.." He is a stranger to her and performer doing his job. Are you going to accuse him of seducing her in front of his girlfriend and family?

If he is such a good friend, why have they only met a 'couple of times' over the two years you have been a couple? Has he been out of town or have you been keeping them from meeting out of a deeply buried concern she might like him better? Is he a friend or a rival?

Why were you so intently watching her instead of enjoying your friend's show? Why did you invite her to his show? Was it so you could see your friend and support him or to test your fiancée?

She may 'fancy' him, but she loves you. Why do seem to dismiss that love so easily? Have you 'lost' other girlfriends to him? Are you afraid she find him 'better' than you? If so, those are your own fears and you need to handle them. If you don't then you will drive her away with your very negative behavior.

Get control of yourself. You do not want to make the same mistake again. Along with apologizing to her, I suggest you also apologize to your friend. Hopefully both of them will forgive.

Dude if she is disrespecting now just wait until you are married and you can't extricate yourself from her. You didn't over react. She's not ready to get married. I imagine you are going to forge ahead and get married regardless but I think you will look back and regret it. In my opinion my I would not live in another man's shadows.

"Dude if she is disrespecting now just wait until you are married and you can't extricate yourself from her. You didn't over react. She's not ready to get married. I imagine you are going to forge ahead and get married regardless but I think you will look back and regret it. In my opinion my I would not live in another man's shadows."

Before anyone takes this seriously I would recommend checking the history.