How could I stop my controlling behaviour?
Hello.
First off, let me share my background.
I'm a 21 year old guy, in a relationship with my 20 year old girlfriend. Although the relationship has only lasted 3 months this far, we've known each other for over two years, being best friends and each other's confidant for more than half of that time, and harboring a secret love during most of the last year.
Our friendship was as good as it gets, with a lot of caring, fun, trust & support. All of it completely unconditional. There were the occasional arguments of course, but they could be counted using a hand's fingers.
After we got together, things seemed to change. My trust for her started to disappear, I started needing her to spend more time with me and only me, until we both ended up isolated from everyone else. I started getting upset if she decided to use her free time to socialize with someone else.
The arguments grew up in periodicity and intensity, being weekly at first and having the intensity of only a disagreement, to occurring more and more often; With one of us threatening to leave and the other one begging for another chance. I was the first one who tried to leave, because I felt I was constantly hurting her, but I couldn't get myself to do it. She did it as well during the last two arguments.
After she showed me a quiz online about the topic, it became obvious for me that I had been emotionally abusive and controlling with her.
My problem is, now that I've recognized my behaviour and understood my mistake...
What's the first step I have to give in order to change myself completely?
Is it a good idea to revert back to close friends while I solve these issues, or would it help if I count with her support as my partner?
Despite the arguments, we still spent great times together and spoke a lot about our future, and I'd like to do anything I can to make her happy again.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance