I'm 42 and been married to my wife for 16 years. We have 2 kids, age 12 and 15. My wife lost her job and she was upset for awhile. The fact that she had to stay home, made her very unhappy. This was the reason why we were fighting a lot. It was like my fault why she got to stay home. I was recognized by my family and friends that I always put my family and kids first. I was even criticized that I don't spend enough time with my family and friends just because of my wife. It was a true fact. On weekends when I wanted to spend some time with my friends and have a drink or a coffee for an hour, I would be criticized by my wife that I'm selfish and that I should be spending time with them. It was just an hour. When I would get back and try to spend the rest of the day with her and kids, I would find her upset and change the whole plan for all of us. Kids and I would be very disappointed why she would do that to us. Lot of time, we would just cancel our plan, or I would just try to go out with kids only. I began to lose my patience and hate her.
Then I met this girl, 25 years old. Beautiful. We knew each other for about 2 years before we began top go out and date. She offers me comfort, love and respect that I have been craving all my life. I love her too and try to take care of her. One day she wanted to leave me, cause she said that because I'm married, there is no future for both of us. I found her crying in bath room. I thought that is the end. Even after 4 years we are still together and I love her even more. She loves me even more and she expects me to divorce and get married to her and give her a baby and start a new life. We had out fights but won't last forever. We would forget our disagreements after several hours, when we would get face to face. We went on vacation several times and had a great time. She is unhappy cause I have been struggling to take that step and divorce and get married with her. I'm 5000km away now from her and my family. I work overseas. I just decided to stop all contacts with my girlfriend thinking that I want to give a chance to get back with my wife. My girlfriend thinks that I'm going through surgery and have no internet or phone access. She has been emailing me wondering if I'm OK or not. I can't start talking to her cause I know that once I start talking to her I won't be able to stop. I love her. I'm used to spend 90% of time on the phone with her and maybe 10% with my wife. I miss her so much and I'm sure that she is feeling bad without knowing what is going on with me. I was thinking to tell her the truth, but I just couldn't. I have a vacation time coming and I need to spend with my kids and mom, brother and sister. She expects me to spend a week with her and a week with the rest. I have only 2 weeks time and I have to get back overseas. I know that if I would tell her that I can't see her at all, she would be upset and never talk to them again. I'm afraid losing her cause I love her. She's 25 and I'm 42. I need your opinion, what is the good solution here? I know that I used to love my wife, but never again. That selfishness of her that turned me down, made me cold. I'm different person now. I have been considering this girls as my partner, wife and talk to her and discuss things with her as she was my future wife. But, the fact that divorce would have bad effect on my kids, kept me indecisive. I'm indecisive basically not because I have feelings for my wife, but because I need to take care of my kids and not hurt them. Is it worth sacrificing true love with this girl for trying to go back home and take care of the kids, and live without love? I will never be able to love my wife again or forget this girl.