Ask Me Help Desk - Haven't heard from my boyfriend... what should I do?

So everything was going along like normal. I was texting my boyfriend Tuesday night around 6:30 and he said that he would call me when he got home from work. He was finishing things up at work and said that he should be home in the next hour. I knew that he might just get home and fall asleep because that's something he does from time to time and I'm OK with that. Well, it got to be Wednesday night and I still hadn't heard from him. He also has a tendency to sleep all day when he doesn't have work and had worked the day before so I just assumed that was what happened. Well, I still haven't heard from him and it's Friday night. I've called and texted a bunch and haven't heard anything.

When I call, the phone rings 6xs and then goes to voicemail like it normally does when he can't answer. This has happened once before where I didn't hear from him for 2.5 days and it was because his phone stopped working and he had to get a new one. I know this was true because I did see the new phone and I had witnessed his phone having issues before all of this.

He is not the kind of guy who would just stop talking to someone, especially if something was wrong. Everything was going well before this and he knows how I get when I don't hear from him so he always lets me know if he won't be able to talk for a while. He also knows that my last boyfriend just stopped talking to me out of the blue as his way of breaking up with me and has always told me that he would give me a heads up if he was feeling like we were having problems or felt like we should break up. I know that he can say whatever and not mean it but we have a very close relationship and talk about everything so I know he wouldn't stop talking to me without a good reason.

I know there's not much I can do besides wait, but I just thought I'd put it out there.

Are you able to go past his home or workplace just to touch base with him? If he's having another phone issue, he may well be unaware and might be trying to reach you with the same results as you're getting. (Had that happen with my husband's cell once when he was on a trip and was unaware that I wasn't getting his texts or voice mails, and he wasn't getting mine.) If you live too far away to visit, is there someone near him who could just give him the message that you're worried?

You seem to be having trouble with your phone and calling people quite a bit... or is this all the same person?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/cell-p...on-754620.html

Also... perhaps he's in jail? Or maybe he's not really looking at the relationship the same way you are?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...on-749525.html

Quote:

You seem to be having trouble with your phone and calling people quite a bit... or is this all the same person?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/cell-ph...on-754620.html

Also... perhaps he's in jail? Or maybe he's not really looking at the relationship the same way you are?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...on-749525.html

Great catch!

In light of your other post, maybe he has slipped back to his old ways or maybe he has grown tired of the relationship.
I thought things were going so great with you two. Someone not responding to you for two and three days a couple of times, does not sound good.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Great catch!

These are two separate phone issues. My best friend tends to go off and do crazy things so I tend to worry a lot about her.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

In light of your other post, maybe he has slipped back to his old ways or maybe he has grown tired of the relationship.
I thought things were going so great with you two. Someone not responding to you for two and three days a couple of times, does not sound good.

Things were going great up until he stopped talking. We even had plans for me to come out and visit this coming Tuesday which he was all prepared to pick me up at the airport and take off work to be able to see me, so this is why I doubt he changed his mind about us in one day.

That does not mean he has not changed his mind. You don't go several days without talking to the person you're in a relationship with and you don't really know him. You've only been dating a couple of months

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

That does not mean he has not changed his mind. You don't go several days without talking to the person you're in a relationship with and you don't really know him. You've only been dating a couple of months

I understand where you are coming from, but the very last thing he texted me was "Hey, sorry babe, my phone was in the truck charging. I'm just finishing up at the site and will call you when I'm on my way home. I love you." This just doesn't sound like the last thing you'd say to someone before ignoring them. If he had said the same thing without calling me babe and the I love you, I could agree but I know how he works and he doesn't avoid a situation with someone he cares about, even if he's upset or mad, if there's a way to talk things out.

And no, it's not "I love you" I'm in love with you, we just really care about each other and say that. Falling in love is farther down the line.

Call the jail in his area and see if he got picked up.

It would certainly help I think if you had your own boundaries of good behavior that guides you through times like these because to me its unacceptable for some one to say they love you and disappear for a week.

His words and actions don't match and if you are not willing to give this an objective look, and rely just on feelings and his words then you will be in denial of obvious red flags waving. This denial is often what leads to bad decisions based on just feelings and not facts.

I understand what you want from this, and the hope is high, but truthfully, what are you getting from this? As an outsider, all I see is a lot of drama in a two month at most meeting that may be one or both partners is a bit carried away. Think now and act on facts, and you don't have to wait for years to see what's been right in front of you the whole time.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

It would certainly help I think if you had your own boundaries of good behavior that guides you thru times like these because to me its unacceptable for some one to say they love you and disappear for a week.

His words and actions don't match and if you are not willing to give this an objective look, and rely just on feelings and his words then you will be in denial of obvious red flags waving. This denial is often what leads to bad decisions based on just feelings and not facts.

I understand what you want from this, and the hope is high, but truthfully, what are you getting from this? As an outsider, all I see is a lot of drama in a two month at most meeting that may be one or both partners is a bit carried away. Think now and act on facts, and you don't have to wait for years to see what's been right in front of you the whole time.

I understand completely what you're saying. I have had this happen to me before with another guy and I let it control me way too much. Now, this relationship is quite different in many ways, so I really don't want to just drop it without finding out the truth. However, I'm not going to wait for him forever. I have a life and I know what I need, but there are also many different scenarios that could be going on. Only time will tell, and I've done everything that I can. Now it's all on him. I'm living my life how I want to in the mean time.