My girlfriend has a 4 year old, and 8 year old. The 8 year old has ADHD, Aspergers, and ADD. The children have to separate fathers and neither one in their lives. I took on the challenge but yesterday she looked at me and said I want to leave my kids! Literally never see them again and be free. The kids are hard to handle. She wants them to respect her and not raise their hands or voices toward her. Now these kids love me and respect me but when it comes to her its all out the door. I see this as a cry for help. If anyone has some advice on how to raise these kids and discipline them so they respect her.

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You have done a fine and honorable thing, and I commend your for it. If you want to continue to do so, all you can do is try to talk to her, perhaps once a day after the kids are in bed, for 10 minutes. A specific time set aside for serious discussion about the day and each kid. How you handle them so that they respect you (without being negative about her parenting).
How about a 4 day weekend away for her, to her family or off with a girlfriend?
If she really appears to be getting ready to walk out the door, that's a leap into another realm. She can be charged with abandoning them, and it doesn't have to come from you. It might come from the kids' school.

This isn't something that can be done alone and help and guidance is needed.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Paren...01589699900722

List of Parent Support Groups for Children with Aspergers, Autism, PDD

Parents of children with Aspergers and ADHD Meetup Groups - Parents of children with Aspergers and ADHD Meetups

Find her the right help and you both can support each other. Start with the kids physician, or therapist for a referral for guidance, and go from there.

Good luck.

They respect you, so I'd say try and find a way to get through to them that this is not a game they need to take it serious that their mother can not handle their disrespect. Point out to them that you are not their legal guardian and if she leaves them they could be taken into the system and put into a foster home because it is not your responsibility to raise them. Mom really can't be charged with abandonment as long as she leaves them with an adult but again they are not your responsibility.