Ask Me Help Desk - Feelings for someone after a breakup

I broke up with my ex two months ago. I was mad at him for something extremely tiny. I felt betrayed. I have a very difficult time trusting people. I trusted him not to cheat. He never did. But, more or less, I trusted him with our relationship. I am a delicate person who tends to feel bad about herself for no reason. It's just, I took a comment he said to heart and personally. I guess, I have problems knowing when someone is joking or not.

Anyway, these past two months he has been giving me mixed signals. He says he loves me, but that I pushed him away. It makes sense, I get that way with people sometimes, but if you love someone, why does it matter?

Does true love exist? I never believed it until I met him. When I first laid eyes upon him I got the warmest feeling of my life. We just clicked so well. He was almost too perfect. Well, he says we changed now. I don't understand how we changed. Yes, we will be going to college in the fall, but I am still madly in love with him. If I love him so much after two months of separation, is it meant to be, I guess not, cause he never declares his love for me, exact for an occasional I love you, but we are just not going to work.

I want to move on, but I can't. I am so frustrated with him. I feel like he did this to me. Yes, I broke up with him, but how can he say all those things. I think what has confused me the most is that we continued our sexual relations even after we broke up. I know NOW that is was a big no no. He always stayed after we did that, and said if I didn't love you, I would have left right away. Before we did it the one time, we just stared into each others eyes and I told him I loved his eyes, he said, I love everything about you. When, I was sick, he said, you are so beautiful even when you are sick. If he was just playing me, I feel so dumb and used.

I contact him and tell him how I feel to get it to work. But, apparently, it pushes him away. I am not a selfish person. I want to let him go. If he comes back to me it was meant to be. How am I supposed to move on and just stop communicating with him to get over him? I love him more than anything.

Cut all contact, no sex or texting. You need time to clear your head and grow some, before you can have a healthy relationship . Solve your own issues because as I read what you have written you don't know yourself that well and should get to know who you are before you can know what it is you want from life. Leave him alone as the signals you send are confusing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarxx7

I broke up with my ex two months ago. I was mad at him for something extremely tiny. I felt betrayed. I have a very difficult time trusting people. I trusted him not to cheat. He never did. But, more or less, I trusted him with our relationship. I am a delicate person who tends to feel bad about herself for no reason. It's just, I took a comment he said to heart and personally. I guess, I have problems knowing when someone is joking or not.

Anyway, these past two months he has been giving me mixed signals. He says he loves me, but that I pushed him away. It makes sense, I get that way with people sometimes, but if you love someone, why does it matter?

You say that you’re a delicate person and that you have a difficult time trusting people. Yet when he said whatever he said you dumped him. So then you asked if you love someone, why does it matter? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical? I’m all for protecting your emotions but if this guy cares for you and you dump him over something that you yourself say was “extremely tiny” why shouldn’t he be protective of his own emotions and feelings? He did love you and you hurt him. So why should he risk his feelings when you dump him for something “extremely tiny” because eventually something extremely big is going to happen and if you bail over a joke why are you worth the risk of being with for the long haul?

I think he is 100% justified and honest in his concerns and apparently showed more “love” then he got in return.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarxx7

Does true love exist? I never believed it until I met him. When I first layed eyes upon him I got the warmest feeling of my life. We just clicked so well. He was almost too perfect. Well, he says we changed now. I don't understand how we changed.

?? He can’t trust you. That’s how you’ve changed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarxx7

I want to move on, but I can't. I am so frustrated with him. I feel like he did this to me.

I feel like this was a great learning experience for you but he didn’t end the relationship over an “extremely tiny” joke. You brought this on yourself and he’s right to protect his feelings. Just like you admit that you would do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarxx7

Yes, I broke up with him, but how can he say all those things. I think what has confused me the most is that we continued our sexual relations even after we broke up. I know NOW that is was a big no no

Huge no no. Another life lesson learned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarxx7

I want to let him go. If he comes back to me it was meant to be. How am I supposed to move on and just stop communicating with him to get over him? I love him more than anything.

Well you said it. You have to stop communicating with him and you definitely have to stop having sex with him. He’s never actually left your life so of course your still thinking about him, you have to remove him from your life for him to be gone.

I agree with everything Chuff said. How can you expect anything of him when you broke his heart?