Please, I am in a difficult situation, I think I love two different girls although I am seeing neither. I speak to them both and I have become almost hypnotised by them. I always think about them but if you ask me which I prefer I could not say. I don't know what to do, it almost hurts. I have heard that to let go off ALL attachments will ease the pain but believe me when I say I have tried! Also one of the girls has a BF who are pretty cute together who even I will admit but it still makes me feel sad...
I don't know what to do? Please help 18 years old by the way

girl with boyfriend = off limits to you

Letting go of ALL attachments eases the pain? Where on earth did you hear that? From a Zen Buddhist monk?

It sounds like you are drowning in drama. You don't LOVE either girl. Ask out the one who is available and get to know her.

The one with the boyfriend is off limits to you, so forget about that one. Get to know the other one.

Ask the available one out on a date and the unavailable one you leave at "just friends. I know the feeling because I loved them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall. Blind, cripple, or crazy. Choose carefully who you ask out though.

Yeah I never planned to go after the taken one, however if she did, hypothetically break up with him, how long do you wait (in the kindest way possible!) and should I comfort her like if it were anyone else or should I stay clear until it's blown over?

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Originally Posted by b-gatz

Yeah I never planned to go after the taken one, however if she did, hypothetically break up with him, how long do you wait (in the kindest way possible!) and should I comfort her like if it were anyone else or should I stay clear until it's blown over?

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You do NOT want to be her rebound band-aid, if they break up. Forget her. She's busy.

Maybe just ask the girl who don't have a boyfriend, or there's always the dare game.
Dare game:
Get one of your friends to go up to that girl and say "Do you want to go out with ____" (your name) If she says yes, there you go. If she says no, then get your friend to say "well thats good because this is a dare"
Good luck ;)

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Originally Posted by hamburgee

Maybe just ask the girl who dont have a boyfriend, or theres always the dare game.
Dare game:
Get one of your friends to go up to that girl and say "Do you want to go out with ____" (your name) If she says yes, there you go. If she says no, then get ur friend to say "well thats good because this is a dare"
Good luck ;)

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That sounds like something a middle schooler would do. Why not punch her on the arm too, just to get her attention.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by b-gatz

Yeah I never planned to go after the taken one, however if she did, hypothetically break up with him, how long do you wait (in the kindest way possible!) and should I comfort her like if it were anyone else or should I stay clear until it's blown over?

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But she isn't like anyone else because you have a romantic interest in her. 9/10, she will be grateful for the shoulder to lean on during a tough time, but when she no longer needs the comfort, you are in the friend zone, with a broken heart, while she is ready to explore and experiment with everyone but you.

I know about the friend zone, but surely if I never try then I will never know and there is no harm in trying. And by what many people are saying on here is that it is only possible to ever love one person. And for reference I talked to the other girl without the boyfriend and she shot me down with the usually crap, like you're really nice... blah blah

You can love many, but how many will love you back, if you can handle possible rejections which most are afraid too, then go for what you feel comfortable with.

It's a risk that's up to you to take.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by b-gatz

I know about the friend zone, but surely if I never try then I will never know and there is no harm in trying. And by what many people are saying on here is that it is only possible to ever love one person. and for reference I talked to the other girl without the bf and she shot me down with the usually crap, like you're really nice...blah blah

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It's not crap if that's how she feels. These are not the only two girls in the world.
You never approach a girl right after she has broken up with someone. It is a purely selfish move. If you are thinking about her, you give her some time and space.

Messing with someone after a break up is like a vulture that just keep circling around until its dinner dies.

The one with a girlfriend is off limits,so try to ask the other one. Get to know her and If it doesn't work out then you will meet somebody! And if the taken one breaks up with her boyfriend you can get to know her.

It is proving to be difficult, I can't forget about this girl(without a bf), she flirts with other guys in front of me and I find it painful as hell, I can't just forget about her. What the hell can I do it is driving me mad and in to a deep depression?

Get over it. The girl turned you away. She is not the only girl out there. Go places where you can meet other girls.

It's a brutal answer, but I understand. Can girls not change their mind?

Yes, anyone can change their mind, but why would you sit around and wait. You said she flirts with other guys. She is not interested. Sorry about the answer but you need to know the truth.

Leave her alone and stop hanging around her when she flirts and maybe it won't hurt, and you will get into other people, places, and things.

I would be depressed too if I was stuck on someone who wasn't stuck on me, and hoping she would give me a chance knowing she hasn't, or won't.

Did you marry (if you are) the first girl you loved?