I had an abusive ex six months ago and the night he beat me I called the cops. Now I met someone unexpectedly. He is 19 and I am 21 and we've been dating for a month now. We were together for two weeks but then the semester ended and he lives in another state but we do come and visit each other every week.

Recently I have been leaving my cultural and religious ideals behind because I just don't believe in them anymore. I wanted to wait till marriage to have sex and this guy was okay with it but now I just want to have sex. I never wanted to do it with any other guy but with him I want to.

Is it because I'm horny? Should I go through with it? We text but our relationship is still relatively new. We still haven't reached that love stage that I had with my abusive ex boyfriend. For some reason I trust this guy and the fact that he is willing to be with me even if I do decide to wait till marriage says a lot about him right?

>Merged Threads<

I promised myself I would never date anyone for a few years until I met this guy who is freakishly similar to me. We think about certain things the same way. He is a little immature sometimes and he does bother me. I am his first girlfriend and well usually I get to know the guy before dating him but this is different we started dating and calling ourselves bf/gf without really getting to know each other.
I like being with him and we spend the whole time talking about absolutely nothing but I don't think I would ever stay with him for the long run.

My problem is when I date someone I see that he would be worth getting married to but this guy is just so young and immature. But he does take care of me a lot and is even willing to not have sex till marriage for me. Should I end this relationship? It hasn't even been a month though.

Why don't you wait for at least 6 months before you jump in the sack just to make sure you aren't just horny, or need some love. It a lousy idea to jump from an idiot to another guy so fast.

What's the hurry? If he is the one then a few months or a year won't matter will it? Sex so quickly can be a curse after all those feelings of lust and love get all mixed up.

Unfortunately We aren't in a position to answer the questions:
1) Why do I want to have sex? Because I am horny.
2) Should I do it?
3). Questions about your boyfriends character.

Sexual attraction and drive is partially an emotion drive but also an instinctual drive. Weigh your options carefully.

Tanzz, I merged your threads because they are about the same subject-your relationship with you boyfriend.

If you want sex, stick to masturbation for the time being. You aren't certain where this relationship is going and I don't think you want to find yourself having to make life altering decisions with someone you think of as immature.

Have you given any thought to birth control? Remember that no form of birth control is 100% effective and Nature has a habit of beating the odds.

It sounds like perhaps you are wanting to rebel against several things including your culture and up-bringing. Is that part of why you are with him? Is his 'immaturity' more fun and out-going than many of your other 'boyfriends'?

Have you healed from the relationship with the abusive ex? Is he part of the reason you are not taking your time in this relationship?

My ex boyfriend was controlling I'm guessing it was because of the religion/culture. One day he beat me and well I call the cops. I loved him and he broke me its been six months I am still not over it. I met a guy who is of a completely difft culture and well we started dating and are now official. Its been a week now but I feel like I don't give this relationship 100%. I don't trust him as much and he knws that. I love being with him we talk for hours but he's you ger than me (im 20 he's 19) and he's immaturity bothers me. I sometimes think Im only with him because he's difft from my ex and he is just a result of ny rebel against me culture and religion. I do love that he's spontateous and we are freakishly very a like most of the time. Am I with him for the wrong reasons? Should I dump him or is it just too soon to tell? What do I do?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

tanzz, I merged your threads because they are about the same subject-your relationship with you boyfriend.

If you want sex, stick to masturbation for the time being. You aren't certain where this relationship is going and I don't think you want to find yourself having to make life altering decisions with someone you think of as immature.

Have you given any thought to birth control? Remember that no form of birth control is 100% effective and Nature has a habit of beating the odds.

It sounds like perhaps you are wanting to rebel against several things including your culture and up-bringing. Is that part of why you are with him? Is his 'immaturity' more fun and out-going than many of your other 'boyfriends'?

Have you healed from the relationship with the abusive ex? Is he part of the reason you are not taking your time in this relationship?

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I think that you are right sex is just be rebelling and his immaturity is the reason why I'm with him. Its something new a different. Hes spontaneous and I love that he is down to do anything with me. True I am not over my ex which is why I'm still scared to be with this new guy. I feel like I should end it with him but there is w connection. We think a like most of the times sometimes even say the same thing at the same time. He respects me and takes care of me. I do love being woth him and when times get rough I go to him because he makes everything better. Now I don't know if I'm settling or if I really like him.

If you really like the guy and if he makes you happy either way then maybe you should stick with him and forget about the other guy especially if he hit you before you deserve better and to be happy

Maybe you should break up with him and be single for a while until you are sure what you really want.

Why can't you be honest and explain yourself so he doesn't have to have false hope while you figure your head out. That would be fair and considerate,

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Why can't you be honest and explain yourself so he doesn't have to have false hope while you figure your head out. That would be fair and considerate,

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yes true

Actually don't lead the boy on if your not ready then just leave him instead of getting his hopes up if you guys are still together his feeling will eventually get dmstronger and it would be harder for you to break up with him and more hurtful and painful

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Why can't you be honest and explain yourself so he doesn't have to have false hope while you figure your head out. That would be fair and considerate,

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Yes I have explained myself.. even told him I'm not over my ex and that I'm doubting our relationship but he thinks that we have a stronger emotional connection and that we should still be together and give it a try

Then relax and have good clean adult fun and get to know each other.