Why is my boyfriend never in the mood anymore?
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 11 months. 3 months were long distance, but then I packed up and moved to where he lived. When I first moved in with him we lived with his best friend (who molested me pretty much) and the best friend's wife and her kid and my boyfriend and I were always having sex. And once we moved into our own place we were still having sex enough to satisfy me, but for the past almost 3 weeks nothing.
Normally on his days off from work we have sex, but lately no. I figured its because of his job since he works from 3pm-12 or 1am and since I've been struggling to find a job in this small town he's been the only one working and paying for it all and he's struggling and broke. The thing is he makes enough $ to pay rent and all,but he spends a lot on cigarettes. He used to blame me for his struggle, but he's realized that whether I was here or not he'd be in the same situation.
What hurts the most is that he asks me to touch and rub him all the time, but he never touches me intimately in return and even when I try to initiate sex as soon as I stop he leaves it be. He doesn't even finish by himself. I told him last night that it makes me feel unattractive and he said that's not it and that he's just not in the mood and then he said maybe I should do something to earn "things like that".
I think that's BS. Sex isn't earned. It's not a prize you get for doing something. It's a way you express love for your partner and make them feel good. At least that's my opinion. I'm 20 years old so my sex drive is high. He's 32 and his sex drive used to be pretty high, but its just gone now and I've always been an insecure person due to how I grew up and this makes me feel more insecure. It also makes me feel resentful at him because I feel like yet again he has all the control in the relationship and now he's taken control over the sex. It just hurts my feelings and the last time we had sex it was me doing things to him and then a less than 1 minute screw so he could finish.
He always says he's tired and old, but I feel like that's an excuse when I think back to how we used to be. It could be stress as well, but I don't think it's wrong of me to want sex at least once every 2 weeks. I'd be happy with that I guess. It used to be at least 4 times a week, but that was when we lived right next to his job and he didn't have to pay rent or bills and all that.
I just feel like why even have me as a girlfriend if you don't even want me. I just feel like its another way for him to have the upper hand and control in the relationship. Should I just leave it alone and wait even if it means going a month or 2 without sex?
A month or 2 or however long without sex until HE wants it