I've been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years. We have a 4 month old son. The first year was amazing. He was so attentive. Always saying nice things about me. Cards and flowers all the time and the cards were beautiful. He made me feel good about myself. I had been in a physically abusive relationship before I met him so he wanted to show me how a woman should be treated. Then out of the clear blue he changed a couple months before I found out I was pregnant. He stopped buying me cards and flowers, the sex stopped, the compliments and kissing and going out to eat STOPPED!! Idk what the heck happened to us. My wholle pregnancy and now can't help but think its me. I think sometimes I'm fat, ugly undesirable. Invisible. I try talking about it and he says "its not you" I have to beg for sex. I have to beg to give him a blowjob. He's not gay. He hs no problem getting it up. I try and tell him how I feel and ask what happened and he gets very defensive and we have a huge fight. I want to make it work because I do love him and we just had a baby. I caught him watching porn a few times but he doesn't want sex? I'm so confused. What do you think it is? What should I do? Please help with advice...

Would he agree to couples counseling?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Would he agree to couples counseling?

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I'm not sure. A problem is that we don't have anyone to watch our son while we go. Can you bring a baby? It doesn't hurt to ask him.

It shouldn't be a problem to take a baby.

Nope, no problem bringing the baby. I did family therapy while a four-year-old did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle karate kicks in the middle of the room. (Ask me about that one someday.)

Be sure to bring any baby needs like a pacifier, diapers, a bottle (if you aren't nursing), a change of clothes, etc. just like any time you go out with Baby.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Nope, no problem bringing the baby. I did family therapy with a four-year-old doing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle karate kicks in the middle of the room. (Ask me about that one someday.)

Be sure to bring any baby needs like a pacifier, diapers, a bottle (if you aren't nursing), a change of clothes, etc., just like any time you go out with Baby.

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Sorry I'm still learning how to use this website,takes me a long time.
I'm going to ask him tomorrow. I'm just nervous that me asking will start a fight. He's gotten so touchey latley. Very defensive.will start screaming and walk out on me and the baby but he always comes right back

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Originally Posted by SarahW83

Sorry I'm still learning how to use this website,takes me a long time.
I'm going to ask him tomorrow. I'm just nervous that me asking will start a fight. He's gotten so touchey latley. Very defensive.will start screaming and walk out on me and the baby but he always comes right back

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I also don't understand the porn, he sayshe has no desire but he watches porn behind my back even though he knows it bothers me. He swore he would stop many times but never does. Do you thiknk he's addicted to porn? Or maybe one woman isn't enough. He told me he's never been faithful to a girl and get this, he's 50 and I'm 29! I rack my brain trying to figure out what the heck happened to us

Read some of the threads about porn and how it really has nothing to do with you -- and crowding him into a corner about it is the worst thing you can do. Of course, you do want to know you are loved, so that's something you (and he?) will want to discuss with a counselor. If he won't go with you, please go without him. The counselor will very likely invite him for a session or two along the way.

He's 50 and you are 29? Maybe you have gotten too old for him and he is looking at younger women?

Men watch porn like women watch chick flicks. Men are visual creatures while women are mental creatures. Watching porn has nothing to do with you. By watching porn he can get off without worrying about whether his partner is satisfied, or turned on. Hands don't get satisfied nor to they get turned on. Porn helps a man relieve stress and anxiety.

If he told you that he's never been faithful, that should have been a red flag to you.

Oh, and the "wtf" is not necessary and may cause your posts to be removed.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Read some of the threads about porn and how it really has nothing to do with you -- and crowding him into a corner about it is the worst thing you can do. Of course, you do want to know you are loved, so that's something you (and he?) will want to discuss with a counselor. If he won't go with you, please go without him. The counselor will very likely invite him for a session or two along the way.

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Thank you so much. Ill let you know what he says tomorrow.
I just want things back to the way they were. I want to be close again. Oh I really hope he says yes