My mother has recently passed away and my brother in law promised he would pay for her funeral,the arrangements were made and he paid £800 deposit to the undertaker. Now after a huge family row he has gone and got the bill split 3 ways, he has paid his share of the bill, me and my other sister have received a bill from the undertaker for the remaining balance which is £1400. Can he do this? He signed the invoice for the bill.

Im sorry for your loss. Did your mother have an estate of any kind?

WHY wouldn't you and your sister pay a portion?
Of course he can change his mind. Promising among family means nothing. Signing the invoice means he paid the deposit.
Your shares are less than what he put down anyway.
IS THERE MORE TO THIS STORY, because the way you state it makes you and your sister look cheap and greedy.

(Usually the funeral is paid out of the estate, and is the first payment to be made by the court or bank or solicitor.)

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Originally Posted by 1506

... Can he do this? He signed the invoice for the bill.

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Can he make you liable for a debt you never agreed to pay? I doubt it unless there is a law in your jurisdiction making you liable for the final expenses of your mother (doubtful).

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Originally Posted by joypulv

... Usually the funeral is paid out of the estate ...

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Assuming there is an estate.

I think the first question has to be, is there a will?

If there is a will, who's the executor of the will?

Is there an estate (home, car, bank account, life insurance etc)?

Usually the executor pays for the funeral out of the estate. Some people have life insurance, or a policy that pays for funeral expenses.

If there is none of this, I think he's responsible for the remainder. Not ethically, but legally. I'm assuming he made the arrangements, and he signed the contract with the funeral home. So, if you and your sister refuse to do the right thing and help pay for your mothers funeral, the funeral home will go after your brother in law, the person that signed the contract for the funeral.

Did you sign anything?

OP and his sister don't owe the brother in law.
Somebody or bodies or the estate owe the funeral home.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

OP and his sister don't owe the brother in law.
Somebody or bodies or the estate owe the funeral home.

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Exactly. If the brother in law is the one that made the arrangements, and signed for those arrangements, then he's the one they'll come after for payment.

He can tell the siblings that he wants them to pay, but when push comes to shove, unless they signed something stating that they'd pay, at the funeral home, he can't force them to pay anything. He's the one that made the arrangements, he's the one that signed, he's the one they'll sue if he doesn't pay.

If he's the executor of the estate, he'll be reimbursed for the funeral costs out of the estate. I would assume that he's the executor, if there is an estate, otherwise he's a fool for agreeing to pay for the funeral. If there is no estate, well, he signed, he pays. Unless the OP signed, or the other sibling signed a contract with the funeral home to pay for the expense, they're not on the hook for this.

Although I am just guessing about this family - whenever there's a family row, it's often over a house that one or more adult children are living in and refuse to vacate for sale or pay other heirs their share... we don't know why the BIL is now refusing to pay the whole bill.
The funeral home will get paid by tying up ANY property mom left.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I think the first question has to be, is there a will?
...

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No. The question would be whether there is anything in the estate. If not, a will would be a worthless piece of paper.

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

No. The question would be whether there is anything in the estate. If not, a will would be a worthless piece of paper.

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How would it be a worthless piece of paper? A will isn't only used to divide the money. If there are adolescent children, a will is used to provide guardianship for those children, a will is used to divide the furniture, jewelry, nick knacks. You don't have to have an estate to need a will. A will is a good idea for everyone to have, not just those that have an "estate" to leave behind. It's very rarely a worthless piece of paper.

Yes there is more to this story. But first just to set the record straight me and my sister are not CHEAP OR GREEDY. My mother had no estate and she left no money, she had life insurance for six months before she died, when my brother in law found out he told her to cancel the direct debit because he would pay for her funeral, she said she would cancel it on one condition, that he would'nt ask me or my sister for any money towards her funeral, he promised her he would'nt, and now because I had a row with him he got the bill split 3 ways, I didn't ask the question do you think I'm "cheap or greedy" I asked if it was possible that he could do this.

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Originally Posted by 1506

Yes there is more to this story. But first just to set the record straight me and my sister are not CHEAP OR GREEDY. My mother had no estate and she left no money, she had life insurance for six months before she died, when my brother in law found out he told her to cancel the direct debit because he would pay for her funeral, she said she would cancel it on one condition, that he would'nt ask me or my sister for any money towards her funeral, he promised her he would'nt, and now because i had a row with him he got the bill split 3 ways, i didnt ask the question do you think im "cheap or greedy" i asked if it was possible that he could do this.

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You question was answered a few times.

Just to clarify, no one said you were cheap and greedy. Just that the way you out the question could make you look that way. And that was only one response.

Unless your B-I-L put it in writing that he would pay for the funeral, there is nothing binding him to that agreement. If you have proof other than the testimony of you and your sister, that he did make this agreement, you might be able to take him to court to force his compliance.

But based on the little info you gave use the onlt answer is the answer you were given that yes he could do it.

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Originally Posted by Alty

How would it be a worthless piece of paper? A will isn't only used to divide the money. If there are adolescent children, a will is used to provide guardianship for those children, a will is used to divide the furniture, jewelry, nick knacks. You don't have to have an estate to need a will. A will is a good idea for everyone to have, not just those that have an "estate" to leave behind. It's very rarely a worthless piece of paper.

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If there is " furniture, jewelry, nick knacks", that would be an estate. I wrote that if there is no estate, a will is meaningless. Yes, it can be used to express a testator's wishes regarding who is to take care of minor children, but it is only advisory.

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Originally Posted by Alty

How would it be a worthless piece of paper? A will isn't only used to divide the money. If there are adolescent children, a will is used to provide guardianship for those children, a will is used to divide the furniture, jewelry, nick knacks. You don't have to have an estate to need a will. A will is a good idea for everyone to have, not just those that have an "estate" to leave behind. It's very rarely a worthless piece of paper.

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If there is " furniture, jewelry, nick knacks", that would be an estate. I wrote that if there is no estate, a will is meaningless.

Yes, it can be used to express a testator's wishes regarding who is to take care of minor children, but it is only advisory

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

... you might be able to take him to court to force his compliance.

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No, the undertaker could.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

But based on the little info you gave use the onlt answer is the answer you were given that yes he could do it.

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He could make OP pay? No. He could not. OP is not legally bound to pay a debt OP never agreed to pay.

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He could make OP pay? No. He could not. OP is not legally bound to pay a debt OP never agreed to pay.

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For once we agree.

Sadly I've had to arrange more than my share of funerals. Both for my parents (I'm the only child). In fact, I had 3 funerals in less than 7 months, one in Germany (my mom had two funerals).

Family offered to help with some of the costs, but I was the one that made the arrangements, I'm the one that signed the contract with the Church, the crematorium, the florist, the caterer, etc. etc. So, in the end, if my family had suddenly decided that they didn't want to help, it was all on me, my name was on the contracts. Thankfully my family didn't screw me over that way.

The OP said that her BIL made the deposit to the undertaker. Unless the OP and her sister signed anything, I really don't see how the BIL could force them to pay a share of the expense. If the bill isn't paid, the undertaker will come after him, not the OP and her sister.

So the question is, did the OP and her sister sign any contract with the undertaker? Did they sign anything? If not, then the BIL is the one responsible. He can try to collect from the OP and her sister, but legally, he signed the contract, and when they sue for non payment, they'll come after him.

I apologize. It did sound accusing, but I didn't mean to accuse. I just felt that information was missing. It would have helped to know that she had nothing when she died.