Ask Me Help Desk - How do I get him to have sex with me?

How do I get him to have sex with me?

This is really embarrassing. There is the guy I think is just fantastic, and for a little over a year we hooked up a few times, including sex. But then right after that he got into a fairly serious relationship. She broke up with him a little over a month ago and I know he has moved on/is looking for other girls.

We're friends and hang out now and then, and I'd really like to just be friends with benefits with no emotional attachment (I'd love being in a relationship but I don't think he's up for it).

Can you guys help me? Is there a way to seduce him into having sex again? I know he finds me attractive, but I think if I suggested it to him straight he'd turn me down in a heartbeat.

Yes, I imagine it is.

Nobody here is going to give you advice on how to get someone to have sex with you.

Call him up and say, lets meet up for sex,

Talk to him about it. Lay out the ground rules and have a good time with it.

Becareful though, one of the problems with "Friends with Benefits" Is that one person will start caring about the other person while the other person won't. Usually FWB ends with one person assuming that there is more to the relationship then sweaty messy sex. One person is using the FWB relationship as a surrogate for an actual relationship with someone they think they'll never have.

So are you really wanting just a FWB arrangement or something more? Be honest.

You either be honest and tell him what you want, or wait for him to circle back to you for sex since he seems to be looking for other girls.

Sorry but you are probably in the friend zone, and the hooking up for sex with you is over for him..

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This is really embarrassing. There is the guy I think is just fantastic, and for a little over a year we hooked up a few times, including sex. But then right after that he got into a fairly serious relationship. She broke up with him a little over a month ago and I know he has moved on/is looking for other girls.

We're friends and hang out now and then, and I'd really like to just be friends with benefits with no emotional attachment (I'd love being in a relationship but I don't think he's up for it).

Can you guys help me? Is there a way to seduce him into having sex again? I know he finds me attractive, but I think if I suggested it to him straight he'd turn me down in a heartbeat.

I think you need to look at what you have written and be honest with yourself.

You say you want a fwb relationship with him because you think he wouldn't be interested in a romantic relationship.

You want to manipulate him into bed because you think he wouldn't be interested or would turn you down if you don't play games.

I am going to be blunt. Why do you want to be used for sex by someone who you think doesn't want more than to hang out with you every now and then? Why do you want to be a number or notch on the bedpost?

I have nothing against consenting adults having fun as long as they are aware of the consequences and enter into the relationship with their eyes wide open. I am not certain your eyes are open. I think you are looking at settling for what you can get. Personally, I think you can do better.

For now, be his friend if you want a relationship (friendship.) Let him sort out his feelings and heal. If he wants to use women and sex as bandages for his hurt heart and damaged pride, let other females be used and dumped when he doesn't need them anymore.

If being his friend isn't enough, let him go instead of playing manipulation games. You may think you can handle the emotionless fwb relationship because you did in the past, but I think you have already allowed feelings for him to grow. Be honest with yourself, how would you handle his finding another 'fairly serious relationship' while using you for nothing more than a warm body?

You may be in the 'friend zone', but it is better than being in the dump with the used bandages and crutches.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

Yes, I imagine it is.

Nobody here is going to give you advice on how to get someone to have sex with you.

Ha! So much for that theory...

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Originally Posted by Actual64

Ha! So much for that theory....

Don't get snarky.

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Originally Posted by Actual64

Ha! So much for that theory...

I posted that "theory" to the original question of:

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How Do I Get Him To Have Sex With Me?

This is really embarrassing.

That is what my original answer was to. I see that one of the mods removed that question and stuck my answer on this other one... the one here with much more information other than "it is embarrassing", which led me to believe the OP was a child.

LOL, my bad and as often happens the OP had two posts because he didn't complete the first and her explanation was edited out.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

LOL, my bad and as often happens the OP had two posts because he didn't complete the first and her explanation was edited out.

It happens and regulars know that... but then you get some people that come in and have to add their 2 cents to it without knowing what's really going on.

It's the nature of the best and the influx of youngsters out of school.