Hi, can anyone advise me? I am so jealous when fiancé speaks to other females. Even on social web sites, I wonder... who the hell is she? I know he loves me very much. We have a fantastic relationship, its just me. I know its all in my head, but I can't help feeling like this. I never say anything to him.

Two things:
1. NO relationship can survive in a fishbowl. You both must have contact with friends of both sexes.
2. If you don't want to lose him (and you will if you keep this up), you will FORCE yourself to change your mindset. Jealousy is a poison (even though we all have it to some degree). You will get old as a lonely, loveless woman. If you don't want to be that way, you will practice handling your jealousy every single time it surfaces. You will say 'How nice that he loves ME even though she is good looking." "If he stops being interested in pretty women, he will stop being interested in me." And so on.
Jealousy is also extremely selfish. Selfishness is childish. Practice sharing everything you possibly can - from food to compliments.
And last but not least, make sure you keep complimenting and appreciating HIM.
Studies of men have shown a surprising thing: they like to be appreciated for what they do more than what they look like. Their jobs, careers, skills and talents.

I'm curious to know what he was like before you decided to become engaged to marry him. Has this jealousy gone on a long time, or is it more recent. And has his social networking and computer use become very time consuming, to the point of you sitting twiddling your thumbs waiting for him to spend time with you?

Has he ever done anything to confirm your jealousy of him? Have there been times where he has been off on his own, with you not knowing where he is, who he's with, or what he's doing? Is there money missing from the bank account, or is he spending more on activities than usual that don't involve you?

Take a good look at your relationship with him. Have you ever wondered, or known, of him having an affair? Have you cheated on him? Do the two of you ever keep secrets from each other, that should have been talked through instead of talked out?

And at this stage of the game, where you plan to marry him, why have you not expressed your concerns. And if you were to be specific about them, what would those concerns be.

I'm not going to say your jealousy is unfounded, because something is driving it, particularly if you have not been jealous in the past, or jealousy has maybe ruined other relationships along the way.

A little more of an explanation of why you think you feel the way you do would be helpful.

Why am I driving myself mad with jealousy?

You like drama in the relationship?
You can trust?
Your goal is to lose this relationship?

At some point your fiance' is going to decide what is more important to him. His choices will be: 1) Staying with you despite all the drama you create; or 2) Living drama free which doesn't include you. Everyone gets to the point where the drama becomes too much.

Thanks all . I wasn't always like this. I think it started when I fell in love with him. I just worry he will find someone and leave me . I think its because we were good friends before we got together and he was with someone else. He would tell me how much he loved me text me all the time and email me . And eventually left her to be with me.

No one 'just' does anything. Examine yourself to see why you are so insecure.
All relationships go through a romance stage, where you have eyes for no one else, and these days text each other constantly (something I find nauseating, but I'm old, so what the heck). People who can't sail smoothly into the next stages of love are bound to lose that love. Romance fades and practical matters take over: getting along in the bathroom, deciding what to do with money, planning the future. There are struggles and petty differences, and a little jealousy at times, but you get through them and learn. Real love is the result - respect, admiration, compromise, memories of shared problems and good times. You curb negative emotions because you WANT TO!

I would be insecure too if my relationship began with cheating. I think most people would. That's not a healthy love nor does it make for healthy people. Maybe that's something you work on in yourself and that's a really tough thing to overcome.

I really don't know how you gain confidence and trust in him but you clearly both have flaws to work on because from what you have written he doesn't reassure you and probably doesn't know how his action feed that insecurity and fear. Its hard to grow love and enjoy each other in healthy ways in such a situation of fear, insecurity, and constant jealousy.

I don't even know if this relationship can even stand a dose of honest communications. But that's clearly what's needed.

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Originally Posted by sexysue77

thanks all . I wasn't always like this. I think it started when I fell in love with him. I just worry he will find someone and leave me . I think its because we were good friends before we got together and he was with someone else. he would tell me how much he loved me text me all the time and email me . and eventually left her to be with me.

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So he was emotionally cheating with you and now you worry that he is doing this to someone else. Makes more sense. You need to talk to him, You have concerns you need to address them before you get married.