Hi everyone, I just joined this website and need some help.

My step-mom just left me, my sister, and my dad to live alone in our house. My mom lost her job because my dad failed to file some paperwork so she can't be a teacher anymore.

I love my mom, and my dad very much, But my dad makes stupid decisions that could devastate our family. They both are ex-drug users. I know my mom is clean and always will be but my dad I think he is still using. They fight almost every night, and its loud and scary, even for a 14 year old boy like me. My 8 year old sister cries too. Its really sad and I hate it.

Anyway, she just left and said she was trying to get her job back and find a place to stay for a while; not a good way to start summer break. I'm super depressed, and want a normal family like my friends but no, I have to have a screwed up life, and I can't change it. Why should I have to suffer because of my parents choices??

All I want is advise.

Thanks.

A 14 and an 8 year old cannot handle this alone. You might be able to if it were just you, but you have your little sister to think about.
So you need to find someone close by who you can trust - a relative, someone at school (even if school is out, people are still there), and lastly, the local social worker for your town, which you can find in the blue pages of the phone book in the US anyway. Does your dad work? What does he do for income if not? Tell us more so that we can better advise. I know you probably don't want to get him in trouble over drugs, and you won't, because you don't have proof.
Your best bet really is a relative, even if not in the same town. If a relative will take both of you for the summer, there will be plenty of time to sort out the problems at home, or decide that they aren't going to be solved, and you will both live somewhere else.

Life is unfair most of the time, even when you are grown and out on your own.
Why? There is no answer to why.
People starve, get killed, walk hundreds of miles to refugee camps, get disease and are born deformed - and that's just 5 things that happen. We don't pick our parents (there's a nice fantasy) and we often have to take care of them and grow up too fast, as you are doing.
Please answer back.

It is sad that you are put in this position.

It is unclear what is really going on with your parents, and I think that you probably don't know the entire truth.

Adults try to shield their children from their own troubles, which is ironic because with their continuous arguing and screaming you are left putting bits together to naturally come up with a 'why' this is all happening. It would be far better to have a calm sit down with one or both of them, at least to make you feel more secure that the world is not about to end.

Because there is a lot of emotional upset, to you, and your little sister, whatever the decisions are that your parents have reached, and their resulting actions, have left you wondering what to do next. And if your mom comes home 10 minutes from now, how will you know she won't leave again, and/or that both your parents have learned how to solve problems effectively.

I agree very much with Joy's answer, and encourage you to speak to another adult, trusted- maybe an aunt or grandparent, teacher etc. and let them know exactly what you have said here. You and your sister are both in need of a calm, understanding, and supportive adult, to help see you through.

It is okay to ask for help, particularly under the circumstances you find yourself in, and I hope you do so right away.

I'm hoping that you will get notice in your email, that I'm wondering how things are working out for you.

An update would be welcome.