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-   -   I feel lost (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=751104)

  • May 28, 2013, 07:22 PM
    Better days
    I feel lost
    I have been depressed lately and started drinking a lot. I have 2 kids and a girlfriend that lives with me. She don't like to clean up so my house is dirty and stuff everywhere. I have cleaned it up so many times and rite back to the same old stuff. It bothers me because their isn't a clean place to relax or do my paper work. I have talked to her about this but it goes no where. I don't want my kids to think its OK to live like this and I would like to work things out with her but Iam not sure what to do. Iam also looking for some ideas of what to do to stop drinking please help me. Thanks
  • May 28, 2013, 08:42 PM
    Vale11
    I think you should stop drinking and start to work more then talk really good with your GF and tell her you need from her help that you are always working and that you need her to help you but like really strong or get a maid
  • May 29, 2013, 08:31 PM
    Better days
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Vale11 View Post
    I think you should stop drinking and start to work more then talk really good with your GF and tell her you need from her help that you are always working and that you need her to help you but like really strong or get a maid
    I have talked to her and explained that this really upsets me. We have been dealing with this for 3 years or more now and it is draining. I don't want to sound like a jerk because see is a good person and a good mom. I pay the mortgage and 90 percent of all the other bills. I don't know what else to try. A maid is something I can't afford at this time.
  • May 29, 2013, 09:00 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Better days View Post
    I have talked to her and explained that this really upsets me. We have been dealing with this for 3 years or more now and it is draining. I don't want to sound like a jerk because see is a good person and a good mom. I pay the mortgage and 90 percent of all the other bills. I don't know what else to try. A maid is something I can't afford at this time.
    Does she work outside of the home? How old are the children? Have you tried AA?
  • May 30, 2013, 06:40 PM
    Better days
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Does she work outside of the home? How old are the children? Have you tried AA?
    She works 3 days a week and the kids are four years and 5 months old. When Iam home with the kids some how I can manage to clean and go a lot. She on the other hand well I don't know what she really does. I have signed up to see a alcohol couns. I start Monday.I some times think she is causing me more stress then I need.
  • May 30, 2013, 06:42 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Better days View Post
    She works 3 days a week and the kids are four years and 5 months old. When Iam home with the kids some how I can manage to clean and go a lot. She on the other hand well I don't know what she really does. I have signed up to see a alcohol couns. I start Monday.i some times think she is causing me more stress then I need.
    Some people can't multi-task. A 5 month old baby is a lot of work. Was she always like this?
  • May 30, 2013, 06:52 PM
    Better days
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Some people can't multi-task. A 5 month old baby is a lot of work. Was she always like this?
    Well from what her family has told me yes.I understand the little one can be a hand full but I don't get when Iam home with just the kids if I decide to clean I can get the house clean and done. I just feel used and am tired of it. Don't know what else to do or try.
  • May 30, 2013, 06:57 PM
    Better days
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Better days View Post
    Well from what her family has told me yes.i understand the little one can be a hand full but I don't get when Iam home with just the kids if I decide to clean I can get the house clean and done. I just feel used and am tired of it. Don't know what else to do or try.
    Lastnight we sat down and talked about what needs to be done and what is expected of each other and also set a chore list for us. Well she was off today and promised me she would start on her part yet again disappointment.
  • May 30, 2013, 07:46 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Better days View Post
    Lastnight we sat down and talked about what needs to be done and what is expected of eachother and also set a chore list for us. Well she was off today and promised me she would start on her part yet again disappointment.
    Is she depressed?
  • May 30, 2013, 07:53 PM
    Better days
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Is she depressed?
    Don't know but I have made a couple of rude comments about her just playing on Facebook and just fckn around but she has all the time for that stuff. I feel if she wanted this to work out she would help out but maybe Iam just wrong.
  • May 30, 2013, 08:12 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Better days View Post
    Don't know but I have made a couple of rude comments about her just playing on Facebook and just fckn around but she has all the time for that stuff. I feel if she wanted this to work out she would help out but maybe Iam just wrong.
    I'm not defending her, but with two little ones to take care of, she may need to chill out when you are home. Definitely go to the counseling and see if she will go with you. Are the children well-cared for while you are at work?

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