Violated probation while in drug court for Felony drug possession. During probation my boy friend and ex boyfriend father of my child got into a wrestling match. Due to my ex boyfriend causing problem and provoking my current boyfriend knowing he is on probation for the fact that ex boyfriend does not want us together or current boyfriend in child's life. My current boyfriend was arrested after wrestling match but did not hit or harm ex boyfriend. What will happen to my current boyfriend.

"Due to my ex boyfriend causing problem and provoking my current boyfriend knowing he is on probation for the fact that ex boyfriend does not want us together or current boyfriend in child's life ..."

You are fortunate that the father of the child hasn't taken you to Court to get custody of his/your child on the grounds that you are keeping unsafe company - your current boyfriend is on drug probation and (apparently) is short tempered and easily provoked.

Your current boyfriend could receive the sentence he would have received if probation had not been granted, that sentence plus additional time for violating, a fine plus probation, all of the above - or a warning.

Only the Judge knows.

Your boyfriend really should know to walk away - you are in danger of losing your child.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

"Due to my ex boyfriend causing problem and provoking my current boyfriend knowing he is on probation for the fact that ex boyfriend does not want us together or current boyfriend in child's life ..."

You are fortunate that the father of the child hasn't taken you to Court to get custody of his/your child on the grounds that you are keeping unsafe company - your current boyfriend is on drug probation and (apparently) is short tempered and easily provoked.

Your current boyfriend could receive the sentence he would have received if probation had not been granted, that sentence plus additional time for violating, a fine plus probation, all of the above - or a warning.

Only the Judge knows.

Your boyfriend really should know to walk away - you are in danger of losing your child.

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But he does not have a drug problem . And has also been getting counclieng for short temper as well as being put on medication. And it def does not help my ex doing thigs and saying things on purpose to taunt him. The custody I am not to worried about I have legal custody and have do 12 years. My ex has no legal rights and my daughter was born out of wedlock am we where never married.

What are my chances of filing a motion for protection order to be lifted on my child for my current boyfriend which was placed for my ex boyfriend and he included my child due to my current boyfriend and my ex having a dispute ?

What is the possibilities of my chances for my boyfriend to counter charge my e with harassment charge and assult for my ex badgering him an taunting my current boyfriend for 4 months before the dispute that had just happens and my ex pressed assult charges?

Hello C:

I'm not going to deal with whether your current boyfriend is going to get fined for wrestling... What I AM going to deal with is your absolute and total MISUNDERSTANDING of your child's fathers RIGHTS. You SAY he has no rights, but he DOES. He absolutely DOES. If your problems are the result of you NOT understanding the law, and I'll bet they are, then I'd FIRST learn the law...

excon

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello C:

I'm not gonna deal with whether your current bf is gonna get fined for wrestling... What I AM gonna deal with is your absolute and total MISUNDERSTANDING of your child's fathers RIGHTS. You SAY he has no rights, but he DOES. He absolutely DOES. If your problems are the result of you NOT understanding the law, and I'll bet they are, then I'd FIRST learn the law...

excon

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Then why has my lawyer told me he has no legal right since my child was born oh of wedlock ?

Hello again, C:

Maybe because your lawyer is STUPID, STUPID, STUPID..

excon

No real lawyer said that, marriage or not, on birth certificate or not. It does not matter; father of child can file for joint custody, or visitation any time he wants.
He has same rights as if you were married and are now divorced. If a real lawyer said this, fire him and hire one that did not sleep though law school

Next, he was not arrested for wrestling, he was arrested most likely for assault and battery, or another crminal act. Ajnd what were you thinking having the two of them together?

But very possible current boyfriend will go to jail for a few months

Excon put it out there very clearly - either you misunderstood what "your" Attorney said or the
Attorney is stupid, stupid, stupid.

So it does not matter that my ex has taunted and badgered and harassed my new boyfriend for several months till this situation has occurred? Not to mention my ex telling him he was not afraid of him and would beat him up? As far as my child goes I have sole custody now and have always let her father see her and have a relationship. And he has always tried using her as a tool against me in my current relationship and die to the situation now I regret letting him spend time with her and munipulating her while with him . And have chosen to not let him see her until all of this is worked out or he gets joint custody after we go to court. He also makes her feel guilty for making her own decision or opinion about any of this or anything in general. You opinions are helpful and will be waiting for your response thanks !

You cannot change what has happened and I truly believe you really wish you could. If your "ex" threw rocks at your boyfriend, your boyfriend should have turned his back and walked away. Look at it through the Court's eyes - how much or how little does it take for the boyfriend to snap? What if the child says or does something? There is another side here - I think you are beginning to see it.

All the taunts and name calling in the world do not justify bad behavior. This is is a case where the "ex" would have looked like a real jerk - now, unfortunately, they both look like jerks, and your boyfriend (and you and your child) have more to lose.

So, no, what caused the physical attack does not matter - unless it was self defense, and I'm not seeing that.

I recently worked on a case (I'm an investigator) where a single Mom lost custody in NY because her father (she and child lived with the father) was sick of the father of the child, name calling started by the "ex," the father lost it and punched him.

The Court decided - and the father had attended anger management classes and had "graduated" - that the father was an explosive influence around the 3 year old child.

So in the end the "ex" won, if it's about winning and losing.

Wow not really about winning or losing. My ex is the looser though FYI because he will never succeed in splitting up me and my current boyfriend even if he goes to jail and my ex gets joint custody. My current boyfriend and I will still stay together after he get out because I know he is a good person and only snapped because of how my ex tries to hurt our relationship and tried making me look like a bad parent to my child because of my work schedule as a nurse and he is able to be at every practice/ game of hers because he works from his house. So in the end after everything is done and over with we will still be together and I know my current boyfriend is a lover not a fighter but he loves what he fights for and fights for what he loves... Oviousley even if our judicial system does not see it that way or anyone else!

"Or anyone else"? I told you how the Court will see it. I don't think my opinion matters much. My advice does. I never said that I agree or don't agree. I didn't mean your child was the prize in a "winning/losing" scenario - I meant that if you "ex" sees it that way he might have ground for a very good argument in Court.

Good that you and your boyfriend are going to be together forever, whether your "ex" makes a move for custody and whether he wins custody - joint or otherwise.

And good that your boyfriend is a good guy who has had a few bad breaks - not a person with serial problems.

The Court will speak with your child. Counselors are trained to speak with children and get at the truth, find out exactly what happened, why, how things are on a day-to-day basis. That is far more telling than who did what to who on AMHD.

You are an RN? I don't know how licensing works in your State. Your boyfriend is a convicted drug offender. Do you have access to drugs in your job? That's a big issue in NY - hard to enforce, but it's a big deal.

"Custody -joint-otherwise...?" What makes you think he will get any of those at all and I will not remain sole custodial parent of my child like I have for the past 12 years and have not taken my ex to court or required and child support or any other financial help from him.. And thanks glad you agree that my boyfriend is a good person and has no "serial" problems. Or the fact that our judicial system is not always fair or right in their decisions in certain matters no one has ever been convicted for doing what right..

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

"Or anyone else"? I told you how the Court will see it. I don't think my opinion matters much. My advice does. I never said that I agree or don't agree. I didn't mean your child was the prize in a "winning/losing" scenario - I meant that if you "ex" sees it that way he might have ground for a very good argument in Court.

Good that you and your bf are going to be together forever, whether or not your "ex" makes a move for custody and whether or not he wins custody - joint or otherwise.

And good that your bf is a good guy who has had a few bad breaks - not a person with serial problems.

The Court will speak with your child. Counselors are trained to speak with children and get at the truth, find out exactly what happened, why, how things are on a day-to-day basis. That is far more telling than who did what to who on AMHD.

You are an RN? I don't know how licensing works in your State. Your bf is a convicted drug offender. Do you have access to drugs in your job? That's a big issue in NY - hard to enforce, but it's a big deal.

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Yes I am a rn and no info not have access to drugs. And his charges got droped to a mistomenor. And has been through treatment as well. And yes my child is and has been talking to a counselor. As well as my boyfriend .

A Court ordered counsellor is different from a family counsellor - it's a whole different ballgame. I'm not saying your "ex" will apply for more visitation and/or custody - I'm saying he certainly can (as can anyone) and now he has a legal argument.

Before I went off on my tanget the question was whether your boyfriend can go to jail for violation of probation. Yes, he can.

Hopefully you will come back and let us know how that plays out.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

A Court ordered counsellor is different from a family counsellor - it's a whole different ballgame. I'm not saying your "ex" will apply for more visitation and/or custody - I'm saying he certainly can (as can anyone) and now he has a legal argument.

Before I went off on my tanget the question was whether or not your boyfriend can go to jail for violation of probation. Yes, he can.

Hopefully you will come back and let us know how that plays out.

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Well he talked to his probation officer and drug court rep today and they said he has nothing to worry about for revocation hearing that he has done everything asked and has been following all drug Cort/ probation rules and has never droped dirty for any drug test in past 9 months. So they see no reason why his probation would be revoked as a result of this current situation. Guess we will see. Thanks for you input !

I hope it works out - and obviously the "system" varies from State, from PO to PO.