Ask Me Help Desk - Separated and love each other

So me and my cordial girl are separated now. I was going to go see her and sweep her up because she has been saying for the longest that she want to marry me and she can't picture anyone else to be with and I'm the perfect guy for her. I find out she had sex with a dude she met online. Apparently she went looking for sex because I was not there for her. She in Cali I in Virginia. I believe she loves me like she says, I've been there for her when no one has, stood by her side and never gave up on her when she call me all kinds of names and push me away.I loved her like none other, put her happiness first and made sure she was safe and all right.

I would give my life for this girl an I love her so very much. It was a surprise for me to show up to her to take her to dinner but I got upset and cancelled the flight. Now she wants to be cordial and see other people because she wants to explore and get her heart broken and stuff. She does like someone right now and I believe they are talking. Any advice on what to do?

Dump her and find someone else?

Why do you love someone that cheats on you, wants to see other guys, and calls you names and treats you badly when you're together?

I have enemies that treat me better than this.

Love is blind, it doesn't have to be stupid too. She's showing you who she is. Why would you want to be with her at all?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Dump her and find someone else?

Why do you love someone that cheats on you, wants to see other guys, and calls you names and treats you badly when you're together?

I have enemies that treat me better than this.

Love is blind, it doesn't have to be stupid too. She's showing you who she is. Why would you want to be with her at all?

She called that in the past. We were together for a year and 4 months. 6 of those months were rough. Like the name calling and stuff. And she doesn't have a good relationship with her parents. Now they are mending it because I helped her but she was lost and had like no one because of her ways. I loved her for all the good she did as well. She took care of me and loved me. She isn't perfect but I felt that it was worth fighting for her.she said a while ago that I am an excellent man and she didn't know what she was doing because I'm her first relationship. But I tried to help her and cared for her and make become a better person, and to uplift her. But now I don't know if I should keep trying.

I wouldn't, but it's not my decision.

She cheated on you, she wants to continue cheating on you.

So be honest with yourself. Are you okay with her seeing and sleeping with other men? That's what she wants. Is that something you're okay with?

You do get a choice too, you don't just have to accept what she wants. You don't just have to sit there and wait for her to love you and realize that she loves you (which may never happen). Don't be her doormat. She wants to go out and party, but keep you in a corner just in case she needs you. That's not love.

Let her go, find someone that deserves a guy that's loyal, caring, and loving. She doesn't deserve it, nor does she appreciate it.

That's just my opinion based on what you wrote. Ultimately the choice is yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I wouldn't, but it's not my decision.

She cheated on you, she wants to continue cheating on you.

So be honest with yourself. Are you okay with her seeing and sleeping with other men? That's what she wants. Is that something you're okay with?

You do get a choice too, you don't just have to accept what she wants. You don't just have to sit there and wait for her to love you and realize that she loves you (which may never happen). Don't be her doormat. She wants to go out and party, but keep you in a corner just in case she needs you. That's not love.

Let her go, find someone that deserves a guy that's loyal, caring, and loving. She doesn't deserve it, nor does she appreciate it.

That's just my opinion based on what you wrote. Ultimately the choice is yours.

That's makes sense to me. She wasn't always like this. There where two instances where she tried to get with older for money. But she was loyal to me. But I do feel that she is not up to commitment yet and she is 20 and I'm 22. I also agree with the doormat thing. She is blind to love and doesn't truly know the meaning. Thank you so much for your help I greatly appreciate it very much :)

So glad you are opening your mind and protecting your heart. You have played her hero long enough and done what you can for her, but it's time to leave her alone and find a healthier person to give your good heart to. Like you say, she isn't ready, willing, or able to love you back, but she can rip out your heart, and stomp on it after all you have done.

She's proved that hasn't she?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

So glad you are opening your mind and protecting your heart. you have played her hero long enough and done what you can for her, but it's time to leave her alone and find a healthier person to give your good heart to. Like you say, she isn't ready, willing, or able to love you back, but she can rip out your heart, and stomp on it after all you have done.

She's proved that hasn't she?

Makes sense. Thank you for that.