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-   -   I really like this girl, but I'm to nervous to talk to her (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=749272)

  • May 16, 2013, 05:08 PM
    Aquamoose42
    I really like this girl, but I'm to nervous to talk to her
    So I've liked this one girl for about a year now and I really like her. I'm 14 and so is she, we are the same height too, I'm just to nervous to talk to her! :( I have a friend who knows her, and he knows I like her, I just don't even feel comfortable asking him to help. I've liked girls before, but this is different. I feel like I actually love her. I know that might sound untrue being we are both 14, but I really like her. I see her three times a day, and have one class with her. She is always with a group of her friends though and that makes me really nervous that they might think I'm weird for just walking up there randomly. I am not the most good looking guy at my school, nor am I not the most unattractive, somewhere in between. I have been thinking about her all day and can't help myself anymore, I have to ask her out! This is my final solution to my problem and I feel that if this doesn't work nothing will. I am however willing to cooperate with you as much as I can. Please give honest answers and not things like "what's the worst that could happen" or "just do it man". Thank you for reading this and again, honest answers please.
  • May 16, 2013, 06:27 PM
    Comeandgetme12
    Well it seems you have already decided. But I would do it in person when she is not with her friends. Also if you txt her, do not be obsessive. She will immediately not like you. Good luck.
  • May 16, 2013, 06:50 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Comeandgetme12 View Post
    Well it seems you have already decided. But I would do it in person when she is not with her friends. Also if you txt her, do not be obsessive. She will immediately not like you. Good luck.

    Thank you for answering, but I am just saying that I'm too nervous to even talk to her, I have never said a word to her. Although she has looked at me in class quite some bit now. The problem is I never see her without her friends, which is really bad in my case :( Thank you for re
  • May 17, 2013, 08:31 PM
    Comeandgetme12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aquamoose42 View Post
    Thank you for answering, but I am just saying that I'm too nervous to even talk to her, I have never said a word to her. Although she has looked at me in class quite some bit now. The problem is I never see her without her friends, which is really bad in my case :( Thank you for re

    if you have never talked to her then don't ask her out. It's a creep move. I hope your name isent clay. Try to talk to her and her friends .
  • May 17, 2013, 08:40 PM
    Wondergirl
    Do you have a concrete plan as to where to go and what to do if you ever ask her out? How would you arrange transportation?

    You do understand that there will be tons of giggles and teasing and silly face-making by her friends (and maybe yours) once you make a move. Are you up to ignoring all that?
  • May 17, 2013, 08:42 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Comeandgetme12 View Post
    if you have never talked to her then don't ask her out. It's a creep move. I hope ur name isent clay. Try to talk to her and her friends .

    Haha, all right I do guess trying to ask her out already is pretty bad. I just have another question though, how would I approach her and start up a conversation. I seem to only be very nervous around her.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:45 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do you have a concrete plan as to where to go and what to do if you ever ask her out? How would you arrange transportation?

    You do understand that there will be tons of giggles and teasing and silly face-making by her friends (and maybe yours) once you make a move. Are you up to ignoring all that?

    I don't really know what to say to her when I would even get enough guts to talk to her. I did realize there might be some teasing involved in this, and knowing me it will probably be a very awkward introduction. In which I will find extremely difficult to ignore.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:47 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aquamoose42 View Post
    I don't really know what to say to her when I would even get enough guts to talk to her.

    I have a plan. I first need to know the answers to my questions.
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl -- Do you have a concrete plan as to where to go and what to do if you ever ask her out? How would you arrange transportation?
  • May 17, 2013, 08:50 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I have a plan. I first need to know the answers to my questions.

    Do you have a concrete plan as to where to go and what to do if you ever ask her out? No, that's why I am here :(

    How would you arrange transportation? I have a first hour class with her, so I just go to school as usual :) if that's what you mean.

    You do understand that there will be tons of giggles and teasing and silly face-making by her friends (and maybe yours) once you make a move. Are you up to ignoring all that? I will attempt to ignore it at my best
  • May 17, 2013, 08:53 PM
    Alty
    First, are you allowed to date, is she? You'll both need your parents permission because of your age.

    Second, if you can't even approach her, what would you do on a date? You're too afraid to talk to her, so what if you get the guts to ask her out and she says yes? What will you do during the date, ignore her because you're afraid to talk to her?

    Get to know her. Become her friend. It's always best to start as friends first. Does she take the bus to school, walk, get a ride? What about in the classes you two have together, any chance of talking to her then?

    Start with a simply "hi", and go from there. But at this point, if you just go up to her and ask her out when you've never even talked to her, you'll just creep her out.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:54 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    How would you arrange transportation? I have a first hour class with her, so I just go to school as usual if that's what you mean.
    She meant for the actual date. How would you get to wherever you would end up taking her?
  • May 17, 2013, 08:55 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aquamoose42 View Post
    Do you have a concrete plan as to where to go and what to do if you ever ask her out? No, that's why I am here :(

    That's why you need a plan. You cannot just sit there and spin.
    Quote:

    How would you arrange transportation? I have a first hour class with her, so I just go to school as usual :) if that's what you mean.
    No, I mean if you take her out somewhere like on a date to a movie or the mall.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:56 PM
    talaniman
    You are nervous because you are scared to be rejected and humiliated. I got that, but find the courage to at least be able to smile and say hi.

    You don't need an approach or a line, just some courage.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:58 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    First, are you allowed to date, is she? You'll both need your parents permission because of your age.

    Second, if you can't even approach her, what would you do on a date? You're too afraid to talk to her, so what if you get the guts to ask her out and she says yes? What will you do during the date, ignore her because you're afraid to talk to her?

    Get to know her. Become her friend. It's always best to start as friends first. Does she take the bus to school, walk, get a ride? What about in the classes you two have together, any chance of talking to her then?

    Start with a simply "hi", and go from there. But at this point, if you just go up to her and ask her out when you've never even talked to her, you'll just creep her out.

    We are both allowed to date because of her age, but the thing with my nervousness is, once I meet the person and they are nice I forget about being nervous :) I was planning to first become friends as well, I don't want to come off too creepy to her. I see her three times a day, the library, my first hour class, and in the hall for a second after my second hour class.
  • May 17, 2013, 08:59 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You are nervous because you are scared to be rejected and humiliated. I got that, but find the courage to at least be able to smile and say hi.

    You don't need an approach or a line, just some courage.

    All right, I'll try :) I find it easy to be able to smile and I guess saying hi wouldn't be awful, but saying something is much simpler than doing it :(
  • May 17, 2013, 09:04 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aquamoose42 View Post
    We are both allowed to date because of her age, but the thing with my nervousness is, once I meet the person and they are nice I forget about being nervous :) I was planning to first become friends as well, I don't want to come off too creepy to her. I see her three times a day, the library, my first hour class, and in the hall for a second after my second hour class.

    When you're both at the library who does she sit with? Does she sit with friends? Could you ask to sit at the same table?

    Bottom line, it's scary to approach someone. We've all been there, and it's hard for everyone. It may seem like everyone else is braver, but it's not true. Rejection is a fear everyone has.

    You stated that you didn't want the only advice we can give I'm not sure what else you're expecting. In order to date her one of you has to make a move to get to know the other. It's either you, or her. So you either find a way to get over your fear, and approach her, simply say hi and go from there, or you hope she wants to meet you and she makes the first move. But if both of you are too afraid, it will never happen, and it will remain a dream.

    Someone has to bite the bullet here, take a deep breath, and make the first move, otherwise it has no chance of happening.
  • May 17, 2013, 09:07 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    When you're both at the library who does she sit with? Does she sit with friends? Could you ask to sit at the same table?

    Bottom line, it's scary to approach someone. We've all been there, and it's hard for everyone. It may seem like everyone else is braver, but it's not true. Rejection is a fear everyone has.

    You stated that you didn't want the only advice we can give I'm not sure what else you're expecting. In order to date her one of you has to make a move to get to know the other. It's either you, or her. So you either find a way to get over your fear, and approach her, simply say hi and go from there, or you hope she wants to meet you and she makes the first move. But if both of you are too afraid, it will never happen, and it will remain a dream.

    Someone has to bite the bullet here, take a deep breath, and make the first move, otherwise it has no chance of happening.

    All right, I will try to start a conversation with her on Monday when we have school again. I will let everyone know how it goes :)
  • May 17, 2013, 09:17 PM
    Wondergirl
    This is what I've done all my life before I have to/want to do something I've never done before, like giving a speech or teaching something or even when I trained new employees at the library -- I role-played the situation with someone beforehand.

    Is there a very good friend or a sibling or even your mom you could role-play with? Imagine various scenarios and situations. You pretend to be the girl and the other person pretends to be you, and then switch roles, so you be yourself and the other person pretends to be her. It's amazing how well that works and how much it helps!
  • May 17, 2013, 09:57 PM
    Aquamoose42
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    This is what I've done all my life before I have to/want to do something I've never done before, like giving a speech or teaching something or even when I trained new employees at the library -- I role-played the situation with someone beforehand.

    Is there a very good friend or a sibling or even your mom you could role-play with? Imagine various scenarios and situations. You pretend to be the girl and the other person pretends to be you, and then switch roles, so you be yourself and the other person pretends to be her. It's amazing how well that works and how much it helps!

    All right, I'll give it a shot. Thank you

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