Met a man.. never married... he is 55 . Saw his emails to men wanting them to dress up in woman's clothes, and other emails to meet him. He stated in those emails to the men... that he was bi.

I really like him, but when I found out I confronted him and he denied being bi and said he loved women and only wanted to be with me. I don't know what to do. I can not get past the fact that he lied to me .(when I first found the emails HE TOLD ME THAT IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AND HE WAS DRUNK). I found out differently. He had been seeing other men for his emails revealed other meetings. I should just forget about him right? I feel he may be wanting to be with me to hide his past. What would you do?

I guess you'll just have to let him be him. He's who he is and I know you get that, but he may be self conscious of this. Just leave him to get on with it. When you become closer it might come up. Try bringing it up casually in a conversation to see if he says anything. But don't hint you know or he'll think your being sneaky. Good luck xxx

First of all I wouldn't be snooping in his emails. Nothing says love like snooping.

Now you have pushed the relationship into a corner. He's lied and you won't be able to get past that and you won't be able to stop snooping. So move on...

You have invaded his privacy which was just wrong. So now you know he's bi, he's not going to admit anything to you now because I doubt he trust you. I know I wouldn't. Leave him alone.

"i guess you'll just have to let him be him. He's who he is and i know you get that, but he may be self conscious of this. Just leave him to get on with it. When you become closer it might come up. Try bringing it up casually in a conversation to see if he says anything. But don't hint you know or he'll think your being sneaky. good luck xxx"

How would you casually bring up "I think you might be bisexual"?

I'd like to know how that would work.

Excellent point. She could:

Ask him who his favorite sales lady is at Victoria's secret?

Or maybe...

Ask him for any coupons on mascara?

Or

Ask him if he's taking his daughter to the Mother-Daughter banquet?

Oliver, my laugh for the day!

I was thinking, "I have a run in my pantyhose. Could I borrow a pair of yours?"

If he is straight, bi, gay, anything in between and promiscuous after the OP "gets closer" she could discuss this with him at the VD clinic.

As a side note this is why I object to 12-year old children (who need advice on what color sneakers to buy) should not be posting on adult dating boards.

"I was thinking, "I have a run in my pantyhose. Could I borrow a pair of yours?"

Now that was funny!

:)

Nowadays bi isn't so bad you know guys. Really what diff does it make, it does not have to mean speifically anal sex. I mean even with heterosexual any kind of sex goes when you really think of it.

Tick, I don't think this is "our" problem. I think it's the OP's problem - and that's how I answered.

I think snooping/spying is very wrong, and if the man involved is promiscuous (and I said "if") she is putting herself in danger.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tickle

Nowadays bi isn't so bad you know guys. Really what diff does it make, it does not have to mean speifically anal sex. I mean even with heterosexual any kind of sex goes when you really think of it.

---

This is just me but I am not sure I actually believe in the whole "bi" thing. I fathered two kids and had a family life but I knew what I was the whole time. Some guys just hide their gayness because they don't want to be found out, deal with it, or probably 18,903.6 more reasons.

You leave him alone and don't look back. The relationship is already poison and made unhealthy with spying and lying.

The man sounds sneaky and you a snoop. What made you decide to look through his email? This is not a good thing for a relationship. Leave him alone.

Hey Judy, totally agree with you. That was my own opinion, and to Oliver too; I just think there are more situations in sexual relationships then there ever were.

I do agree with all, snooping was a bad idea and as tal said, the relationship is already tainted with bad feelings and lies. Too bad. OP could have turned it all around if only she had kept out of his private matters.

I'm curious... why does he need to admit it to you, at this point? You know! Now you just need to put on your big girl panties and decide if you're okay living with his sexuality and all the mistrust that's now inherent to the relationship, or if you need to move on. His sexuality and all of the subterfuge would be a deal breaker for me, but we're not talking about me.

This is advice for straight, gay, bi or others. If the person is not honest with you, then it is time to leave them alone