Hello everyone, I'm 23 and a mom to a beautiful 1 year 8 months toddler. I'm writing because I just come out of a traumatic phase with my boyfriend who was cheating on me for a year or so.First time I found out was through my cousin. I confronted him and he said nothing but just cried, left it like that and moved on with our lives.

Time went and things changed only to find out he was still cheating with the same person from before. I confronted him and he told the truth and asked for forgiveness but still treated me bad and blamed his cheating on me. I was such an emotional wreck I had to take care of our daughter while he was busy elsewhere. I started talking to myself and physically harming myself.

My mom took his side and I had no support what so ever so I took a hand full of pills and washed them down with alcohol hoping to die but I only got sick. Still he treated me like nothing till I finally found the courage to tell him to F#$k off I'm leaving him he cried and begged but I left him on his knees. After 3 days he made contact and asked me on a date. We went and I took everything off my chest and gave him a piece of my mind. We parted ways later that night.

Ever since he's been calling telling me life is hard without me. We got back together and now he has proposed marriage and he has set a date in September. I'm not sure why all of a sudden I'm his everything and why are things moving so fast? I'm scared he'll hurt me again but I also love him.

Please help, is he really sorry? Is there a logical explanation for all this ####? Sorry for the long story. Your advise/thoughts will be highly appreciated, thank you in advance.

Mom29

I don't see any logical reason for him cheating other than he could or thought he could and he thought he could get away with it.

If you are so unsure whether to marry him that you are asking the question on a public board I would postpone the wedding until you work through all of your problems.

I am also concerned that you attempted suicide. Who did you think would raise your son after you killed yourself?

If this man is more important to you than the safety, happiness and welfare of your child I think it's a bad relationship for you to in.

I was so hurt & depressed as I had no support from my mom or anyone and now I know how wrong & selfish & very stupid it was of me to do such a thing I thank the LORD daily for pulling me through & thank you for your reply :) you shed some light

I hope you build a life that you enjoy without him, because you have already seen what life is like with him. If you jump so easily and quickly into a marriage, a divorce will be almost impossible to get after you wake up to see he hasn't changed.

Especially if you become barefoot, pregnant, and dependent with no where else to go.

I think you need to forget about marriage and seek advice from an attorney about going through the legal system to set up child support and visitation. The fear that you might hold him accountable could be part of why he is trying to rush you into marriage. You will always have a connection because your child, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with him.

He has already shown a pattern of going back to the other woman when he feels 'safe'. Even if he breaks that pattern, you will still be worried and looking for evidence he has been up to old tricks again. It will not be a comfortable relationship or marriage for either of you.

Put him firmly in the role of 'the other parent'. Stop thinking of him as your boyfriend or allowing love to pull you back into a romantic relationship with him.

Find ways to strengthen your self-confidence and build up your self-reliance. If you learn how to give yourself support, you won't be as likely to put up with him and any games he decides to play.

Good luck and the future be better for you and your little one.