My x has not tried to see or talk to our son in over a year and a half. I watched him and his x take there children from school and other places when they least expected it. I do not want this to happen to my son sense he will be starting school this year. My question is has it been long enough to file for abandonment and how do I go about it?

It doesn't sound good that you 'watched him and his x take their children from school, etc'. But you say you are his x, so which is it? When they least expected it?

You have been stalking these people? You were not married to the father of your child? And, it is necessary to say which state you are in because this makes a difference to laws.

You can't "file for abandonment". You may be able to use abandonment as grounds for something else. So it sounds like you want to limit your ex's visitation. To be able to help we need to know what current court orders exist for custody and visitation. Also any question on law needs your general locale as laws vary by area.

And how did you come to be watching your ex with his other children?

He had two kids with his x before me. He had them for two years while we were together. One day she came and took them from school, in return he did the same. So no I'm not a stalker. {vulgarity and attack removed}

First, do you talk like that in from of your child? Second, you opened the door here by referring to watching your ex. Third, you ask for help then attack people trying to help you.

So if you want our help, keep it civil and answer my questions.

I apologize, I felt like I was being judged by that tickle person. I do value your opinion Scott. I tried to get my X to be in our sons life he chooses not to and I don't want my son to be taken from school when he starts this year. I only fear it because of what I witnessed. I live in Oklahoma and just want my son to be safe.

You have to curb your emotions here; we are not out to get out, we only want to understand what we have to do to advise you.

You have no control over how we answer, or who answers.

You want me to 'go yourself? Yes I understand what you mean by that comment and it is not appropriate here.

The tickle person is not judging you; you just have to prove more information for answers you will receive.

k, once again I do apologize. What do I do? Go for full custody on grounds of abandonment or is that totally out of the question?

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Originally Posted by christina woods

k, once again I do apologize. What do I do? Go for full custody on grounds of abandonment or is that totally out of the question?

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I don't know. You didn't answer the question of what, if any court orders currently exist. Since you weren't married, is he listed on the birth certificate or did he sign an affidavits of paternity? Has he been declared the legal father? Was a paternity test done to confirm paternity?

We can't advise you what to do until we know what the legal status is.

He is the father. Even though we didn't get married we were engaged, we were together for four years. He is on the birth certificate, signed paternity papers, and he also owes back child support on our son and has been to jail over it. Other than the order for child support, there is no kind of court order.

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Originally Posted by christina woods

He is the father. Even though we didn't get married we were engaged, we were together for four years. He is on the birth certificate, signed paternity papers, and he also owes back child support on our son and has been to jail over it. Other than the order for child support, there is no kind of court order.

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OK. Now we are getting somewhere.

You don't need to try to terminate parental rights he isn't exercising anyway. Instead, you need to get a custody and visitation order from the court. Ask that the orders provide, for one thing, that he cannot pick up the child at school or other place without prior notice to you. That would satisfy your aprehension that he might just "pick up" your child when you least expect it.

As AK said, now we have some info that we can use. And I echo his advice. Though I would file for SOLE legal and physical custody. You probably won't get it, especially if he fights, but then you can settle for primary physical and limited visitation according a schedule.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

As AK said, now we have some info that we can use. And I echo his advice. Though I would file for SOLE legal and physical custody. You probably won't get it, especially if he fights, but then you can settle for primary physical and limited visitation according a schedule.

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Thank you for your advice and time