I have been married for 43 years. We have had our ups and downs but everything has worked out. We have a beautiful daughter that is married. My husband has always been in the car field. We go to a lot of car shows together. He has been working on this girls car off and on for a while. We both know her and her husband and some of her family. He hasn't worked on her car for a bit now but she calls about every day to talk. My husband is 61 and she is 40. I don't think it is her at all. I think it is him. He is up front when I ask him. He said he likes to talk to her, he likes to be around her, he thinks she is pretty but he says just as a friend. He says he loves me and always will. It makes me feel really weird and after he has said this especially when I am around her. I think he is infacurated with her. He likes her husband. So I really don't know.

How do you know she calls him that often?

I don't know your situation but here is mine... I am married... I have a friend who is a great looking woman, beautiful even, and she is married also. We are friends, nothing more. I consider her a great friend because we can talk about anything and have often helped each other with advice. We never tried to be any more than friends and never wanted to. My wife? She hated the idea but she has accepted it.

Your situation may be different but, It is possible to be friends and nothing more... just keep that in mind.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How do you know she calls him that often?

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He told me and thought he was kidding so I looked at his phone. He doesn't keep anything back. It just makes me feel weird when I am there and she is and I know he is looking at her and thinking I really like her and she is very pretty. He told me also he likes to look at her. Maybe I am just being silly.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

I don't know your situation but here is mine....I am married....I have a friend who is a great looking woman, beautiful even, and she is married also. We are friends, nothing more. I consider her a great friend because we can talk about anything and have often helped each other with advice. We never tried to be any more than friends and never wanted to. My wife? She hated the idea but she has accepted it.

Your situation may be different but, It is possible to be friends and nothing more....just keep that in mind.

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Thanks. I really feel like this is what this is. I just makes me feel a little weird.

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Originally Posted by debbie1934

He told me and thought he was kidding so I looked at his phone. He doesn't keep anything back. It just makes me feel weird when I am there and she is and I know he is looking at her and thinking I really like her and she is very pretty. He told me also he likes to look at her. Maybe I am just being silly.

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Maybe that is the problem... maybe he is too open about it. Open to the point that he is almost flaunting it in your face. I can understand there being a problem with that.

I have a couple of male friends that I am tight with -- and have been married for 46 years. As long as he is upfront and honest with you about her, there shouldn't be a problem.

What does her husband think?

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Originally Posted by odinn7

Maybe that is the problem....maybe he is too open about it. Open to the point that he is almost flaunting it in your face. I can understand there being a problem with that.

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I think so to. It is to TMI. If he had just said I like her and talking with her and being around her fine. Don't go in to detail about her being beautiful and you like to look at her. I am sure it will be okay. Just have to accept it.

You don't have to do tit for tat, but a little bit of some similar kind of relationship for you might help soothe your uncomfortable feelings.
I think a lot of couples do that who have been together as long as you two have.
I wouldn't suggest going out of your way to find someone though. You could 'go out with the girls' for a sidewalk lunch and watch cute men walk by and let a little out that way. And make jokes about what you are doing to your dear hubby. Tell him you need the same jolt he's getting, but laugh about it, and sigh a dramatic sigh.
It's tough for women in their 60s, if that's what you are...