We are going away for a few days and a neighbor offered to watch our apartment and cat, refill the food dish etc, only problem is her boyfriend that she lives with, he does drugs and often has people over at all hours of the night, people we don't know and seem to be questionable characters as they just sit around doing drugs and drinking.

I really don't want my keys in their apartment within these people's reach, we completely trust my wife's friend but her boyfriend and his friends, we do not.

We know her friend just wants to watch the apt and have her own space as the BF is almost always home and wants to watch the digital TV (we have 5 channels that play new movies just released to dvd).

We just wouldn't feel safe having her BF have access to our home is what it comes down to, how do we say no thanks without being rude about it, we obviously have to have someone look after the cat, I'd just prefer it to be family.

With a smile: "Gosh, thank you. We appreciate the offer, but no thank you - we've got it covered."

Short and sweet.

... just my 1.5 cents worth.

Hey Lowtax, did you and your wife kind of leave it with her friend as an "Oh. That would be nice. Thanks but we aren't sure yet."??

What was the conversation? Are you trying to figure out how to extricate yourself from a semi-noncommittal discussion without being rude?

I should have explained more, my wife gave her a very vague okay and now they are expecting me to bring them keys this weekend. My wife hates saying no to people about anything, I don't know why.

It's a very odd situation and if she would have asked both of us I would have quickly ended it by saying a family member was going to take care of our place.

But yeah, I guess there's nothing to do but say I took care of it and never heard a definite confirmation about this?

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

Hey Lowtax, did you and your wife kind of leave it with her friend as an "Oh. That would be nice. Thanks but we aren't sure yet." ????

What was the conversation? Are you trying to figure out how to extricate yourself from a semi-noncommittal discussion without being rude?

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Yes! This is what I was trying to say from the post I just made, there was a vague "yeah that might work out well" (or something) from my wife I wasn't there, and now my wife has left to go to Florida, ill be going next week, and so I have them expecting to have access to our place.

Oh yeah, very easy. Just say that your wife didn't say anything to you until after you asked (your family member) to take care of things. Tell the neighbor friend that when you told (your family member) that neighbor was going to do it, that (family member) got upset. So, tell neighbor that you hope she doesn't mind but it is better to keep family happy and not create a problem out of something so small. Kind of laugh it all off and not leave it open to any negotiation by the neighbor friend. Make it clear it is a done deal. THEN, tell your family member what you have done so he/she will be prepared.

I decided not to edit my post because I don't want you to miss this addition.

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

Tell the neighbor friend that when you told (your family member) that neighbor was going to do it, that (family member) got upset.

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Include that the family member had already rearranged his/her schedule (reason for being upset) to accommodate you.