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-   Adult Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=370)
-   -   Sex is always on my mind. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=748423)

  • May 11, 2013, 08:41 AM
    ayush779
    Sex is always on my mind.
    I can't stop thinking about sex. I have a girlfriend and she doesn't seem like she is getting the job done. I know that its wrong but I sometimes look at porn. I can't stop thinking about sex. My girlfriend is not into sex like me. I don't want to go and find someone to get the job done but I'm not happy. What to do? I have been in a relationship for 1.5 years now. I am 19.
  • May 11, 2013, 09:23 AM
    odinn7
    Well, you mature, that's what you do. If you're only in it for the sex and your girlfriend isn't doing it for you then break up and move on. If you love more about her than just sex, then you act like a responsible adult and realize that getting sex from somewhere else is not the answer.
  • May 11, 2013, 09:43 AM
    talaniman
    You control your nature and cope with your urges and not let them control you, or your thoughts and actions.
  • May 11, 2013, 01:29 PM
    JudyKayTee
    She's not "getting the job" done? What exactly is her job?

    Sounds like you should have some participation in "getting the job" done. Maybe you are falling short (so to speak).

    What exactly is your problem, why is your girlfriend not satisfying you? Are you a good lover, gentle (if that's what she likes), loving, or are you a "slam bang" kind of guy who cares only if he's gratified?

    Your girlfriend has all sorts of problems at home - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotio...ts-736653.html.

    She is sneaking around with you behind her parents' backs which makes me wonder, quite frankly, about you. Why would you ask her to live a lie and then criticize her lovemaking? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ow-732174.html

    She's your first girlfriend and apparently neither one of you understands how sex and pregnancy "work." https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-722185.html

    My all time favorite is your concern that she has too much hair in her genital area - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...al-722846.html

    Try showing a little concern and patience and try thinking less about yourself and more about her. You total lack of sympathy and understanding shock me!
  • May 11, 2013, 04:04 PM
    talaniman
    Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again

    Well said, excellent!
  • May 11, 2013, 06:15 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I think that is why men masturbate often, and of course you think about it, but do not let it control you. And if you are having sex once or twice a week, and to be honest, you will soon be without it, since your girlfriend wants romance and to spend her time dating, not acting like a hooker for you.

    And no need for porn, why do you feel you need that ?
  • May 11, 2013, 11:26 PM
    ayush779
    I thank you all for your help. And I will certainly NOT let my thoughts get a control of me at all.
  • May 12, 2013, 02:44 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    18 to 20 (something) boys/men always think about sex, that is natural and normal, perhaps think about it 2 to 3 times a minute, the issue is controlling actions. And keeping it in its place
  • May 14, 2013, 06:56 AM
    CravenMorhead
    What's wrong with Porn? As long as you consume in a healthy manner, such that it doesn't disrupt your life and the lives of the people around you, you will be fine.

    Cudos to Judy for finding the threads. There is a lot I think you need to consider about your relationship.
  • May 14, 2013, 08:51 AM
    Oliver2011
    It might be a little bit more healthy to allow other things to be on your mind. Such as sports or family or your dog or other things you like to do.
  • May 15, 2013, 12:39 PM
    smoothy
    Keep the thought of becoming a dad when you aren't ready in your mind before you start sleeping with women just for the sake of sex.

    Imagine having to work (like it or not)and send at least half of everything you make to the other parent for the next 18-21 years. And then having to get by on what's left.

    That should help keep your head screwed on right. And pants zipped up.

    And as you get older you begine to understand there is a lot more to life than getting laid.
  • May 28, 2013, 08:13 PM
    My_Doll_iS
    Sounds like you're a sex addict. Either get with someone like yourself so the both of you are happy or if you really want to stay with your girlfriend seek help of a psychologist.
  • May 29, 2013, 06:02 AM
    JudyKayTee
    I am reading that a sex addict's life is controlled by that addiction, that the addiction adversely affects his/her life and relationships, that he/she acts irresponsibly in order to satisfy sexual urges.

    I am not reading that here. I don't think thinking about sex all the time is anything but a 19-year old thinking about sex, thinking the thoughts are obsessive, getting carried away with his/her ideas.

    I don't see any action to satisfy those urges in a way which is inappropriate to the situation.
  • May 29, 2013, 06:48 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I am reading that a sex addict's life is controlled by that addiction, that the addiction adversely affects his/her life and relationships, that he/she acts irresponsibly in order to satisfy sexual urges.

    I am not reading that here. I don't think thinking about sex all the time is anything but a 19-year old thinking about sex, thinking the thoughts are obsessive, getting carried away with his/her ideas.

    Plus he's self centered and lacking in empathy on top of it.

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