In the state of NJ how long do my fiancé and I have to be married before we can petition the court for the adoption of my son? My sons father hasn't been in his life and my fiancé took my son as his own sInce the age of two. My sons father stop comibg around after he had his second child and completely disappered after he found out I was in a relationship withmy fiancé. He hasn't paid child support in two years and is bearly $18,000 in arrears. Oh and the last time my son was with his father mysteriously contracted oral hsv I and his dad xould not explain how it happened also lied about takibg to seek medical attention my son lost ten pounds because he could not eat and had regressed mentally (wetting the bed, having bad dreams, scared all the time).

Your boyfriend cannot adopt unless the birth father either agrees to the adoption OR the Court finds him unfit and strips him of his parental rights - and that's very, very difficult. Did you file with the Court following your son's upsetting visit with his father? You need to PROVE the father is unfit - and that report will be very helpful.

The father is in violation of Court ordered support?

Have you researched oral hsv? It is transmitted in many ways - it is entirely possible that his father has no idea where he contracted the virus (and it is a virus).

NY law says: "You may be single, married, in a domestic partnership or a civil union. The Division will not preclude a person from being an adoptive parent based solely on their culture, religion, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, affectional orientation, or marital/civil union or domestic partnership status." http://www.state.nj.us/njfosteradopt/adoption/faqs/

Keep in mind the father must surrender his rights or be stripped of them. There's no way around that.